Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Hope you had a great day father

Claire and mother

Claire, Best mate Dan, tutor and another fellow student

Claire after her proud moment

The Graduation Ceremony it’s self was not as “boring” as I thought.  I was kinda shocked at how many people had got their degree yet didn’t turn up for the ceremony.  Yeah holidays may already have been booked and things, but there were loads MIA.  I know if I’d spent 3/4/5 years to get a degree then I would wanna make sure I went (and got everyone in the concert hall clapping when they heard my name haha! How narcissistic/egotistical of me)  I felt a deep sense of pride when I heard Claire’s name and saw her getting up on stage.  Jackie was elated to see her daugther getting up on the stage.  After all the students had been up it was time for Sir David Attenborough to receive his honourary Doctor of Science degree, and I must admit to being spell-bound listening to him talking about rituals like the graduation, and how he’d been to other places deep within jungles where they have rituals etc.  Just something about his voice that just gets my attention straight away.  Mingled with the higher echelons of society for a bit, drinking champagne and orange juices whilst tucking into some nicely presented cakes/strawberries (I just had the orange juice and a cake honest)

Got back to Claires house and decided to see wether or not I could pull of the academic look by trying on her gown, and I have to say I looked quite dashing, and having been sat in the ceremony I felt that one niggling regret coming back.  The regret of course was not working harder when I after my GCSE’s and heading to Uni.  I have no idea what I’d have done or if I’d have even passed my degree but it’s one of the only regrets I have so far

How clever am I!!

Cue standard pose

Was an earlyish night that night, as we were both knackered from what turned out to be quite a surreal day thats for sure, and also due to being up early to head out for a hire job with some of the lads Sat morning.

Subject: Nice one, who says sporting gestures are a thing of the past?

The Nigerian goalkeeper has offered to refund the travel costs of all the disappointed UK fans who went to South Africa.

All he needs are your bank account details, password and mother’s maiden name.

Can’t be a scam surely?

Got there around half 3ish as directed and pulled up the same time as my Grandad and his sister, and we walked through to see the Birthday girl.  Was nice to see my cousin Jemma too after her being unable to attend the last two weddings.  The beer was soon flowing (quicker for my Great Uncle Rob than most tho ) and after we’d all had some bbq food, Rob began playing games.  First throwing a ball at unsuspecitng people to catch, then he decided to up the level a little and wanted an egg.  Ended up with a Lemon with the rules being “Drop it, you take a bite” This didn’t really bother Richard tho, who does quite enjoy Lemons as he told us on 3 or 4 occassions during the game.

Rob "Mid-game"

Another of our Robs drinking games

Sunday we did very little in the morning, apart from me being ordered to MacDonalds for some breakfast, before heading over to Ikea and Decathlon, which led to the purchase of some new cushions and a throw for the settee, and also a quick trip to Pets at home for 3 new fish Before heading to Caroline’s again to take down the marquee where I ended up with a case of Carlsberg that had gone undrunk. Result

Rocking that look

The best thing of all was going to the 20:45 showing which meant that all the kids had gone to bed and there were only really about 5 couples in their. One couple had two teenagers with them, but it was great.  Next up is Toy Story 3.  There seems to be a few films coming out which I can’t wait to see!! Toy Story 3, The Karate Kid, The A-Team and being a bit of a dance film geek I really can’t wait to watch Step Up 3D, having seen the trailer for it I was like WOW!

A drunk man who climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5m (16ft) long crocodile has survived his encounter.

The crocodile, called Fatso, bit the 36-year-old man’s leg, tearing chunks of flesh from him as he straddled the reptile.

He received surgery to serious wounds to his leg and is recovering in hospital, police say.

He had been chucked out of a pub in the town of Broome for being too drunk.

The man, who was not named by the police, climbed over a fence and tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lb) saltwater crocodile.

More on this crazy story from the BBC website

Friday was some sort of day from hell! Me, Maddsy and Danny were rocking out in the van of death, doing what on paper looked like a few easy hire jobs around Derby.  What should have been a simple 14 minute drive from the first job to the second covering just 7 miles turned into 2 hours of aimless driving with 1 very irate driver and a laughing Wiggy and Danny.  Could we hell find our way into the park.  At one point I even had Wendy on the phone as we drove round trying to find our entrance into the bloody park.

Aston on Trent to Derby City Centre

Example of our route!

Eventually I spoke to the bloke organising “Derby Pride” and he told me how to get in to the park, via the smallest almost hidden entrance   “When you get close you should see the sign for Derby Gay Pride” he said.  Low and behld we saw it after going past it 5 times, as it was right at the foot of a lamp-post.  How we missed it before is beyond me   2 hours after we’d set off we had finally arrived.  An hour later we’d set up both marquees and were on our way back to work.  Not that we were at work for long.  We got loaded up for a Saturday morning job, and then I was off out giving someone a lift home

Follow the red line to get in!

It was certainly an experience we won’t forget for a few reasons haha!  Friday night Claire was out with her footballing girlies as it was their presentation and I’d agreed to give her a lift home, so I sat at home watching Sky News for most of the night, in complete shock when I heard that Gazza had turned up to a stand-off between Raoul Moat and armed police, with the following items:

• A Dressing Gown
• Some Bread
• Some Chicken
• a 6 pack of Beer, of which it’s alleged only 1 remained
• a Fishing Rod.  Yes thats right a fishing rod, as he’d heard he was down by the river and thought the police may left them fish together as Gazza tried to talk him round

Anyway the whole ordeal seemed to come to an end with shots fired just as I got the phone call to go and pick her up, and she couldn’t believe what had happened when I told her and her mate Paige who had also jumped in the car   She hadn’t looked too bad before she got in the car, but as she was tucking into her chips, cheese, beans and ketchup she began to look very much worse for wear (no where near as bad as me after Johns birthday night out tho )  For some reason Sat morning I was awake early, and took a phone call to go and swap 2 of the work vehicles with Mark and by the time I’d gotten back we were both wide awake.  Very little else was done during the day apart from a bit of shopping and nipping to Rainworth to drop Emma’s trophies and seeing my mum, who just so happened to be out.  Very typical.

Sat night we got ready and headed over to Derby to take down the marquees for Derby Pride, and it was rammed with folk, and you could tell some of them were smashed and could smell the alcohol in the air.  My shirt ended up stuck to me as it was soo bloody muggy and humid at that moment, and the fact we wanted to be out of there and home for as soon as possible.  The only strenuous thing I did on sunday was a little tidying up and walking to the shop whilst Mansfield Ladies travelled upto Sheffield to take on Sheffield Wednesday Ladies.  Someone was a little grumpy when she got back as they’d lost and having no assistant-ref’s meant 3 of the “goals” were offside, but in typical “bring your own ref” games he allowed them to stand

Congrats must go out to Bangladesh who won their first limited overs game of cricket against England this weekend with a 5 run win, and also to Spain who won their first ever World Cup, and with that leapfrog England as they’re the current holders of the European Championships also.  Things can only get better for the Spanish it seems, altho the Dutch tried their hardest to kick their way to the trophy, with 2 or 3 players lucky not to be sent off by the first English ref in a World Cup final since Jack Taylor in the 1974 final.  Some of the players really let themselves down on the big stage, with Van Bommel very lucky to have stayed on the pitch with foul after foul on the Spanish players, and then the cheek to say Howard Webb ruined the final.  Not quite sure how that works.

I think next pay day is gonna be a good one.  Never mind the starter motor for my car, I think I’m gonna be buying this.  Season 6 of NCIS!! Since they have been showing it on FIVE on Wednesday nights, I tended to watch the Champions League games, thus missing most of the season.  Before you say Claire, I know you’ve seen the last episode in Season 7 and I’m very happy for you (I’ve seen it too tho haha) Can’t wait to kick back during a coming weekend and watching the whole of season 6.  Also it helps complete my current NCIS collection which so far spans across the other 5 seasons

and also… we love nothing more than watching comical own goals (so long as our teams are never involved) so here’s one from Ireland…

Did a bit of shopping to get stuff for the house (I’m becoming far too housey for my own good at the minute ) on the saturday and what I thought would be a small total ended up to be about double what I thought.  Sure someone was chucking things into my trolley when I had my back turned Hmmmmmm!   Finally remembered to give my father his fathers day gift I brought him as we were away that weekend in Filey.  I was so tempted to eat the fudge myself, but thought I showed great restraint in not doing so.  I’m feeling quite out of shape at the minute, so once I can get through this month, its gonna be tmie to try and get the old Integra sorted and sold, mainly so I can afford to go to the bloody gym with John again

Yesterday was quite a hair-raising experience! Me and Maddsy went for a road trip in the “Van of Death” It has the turning circle and stopping ability of the QE2 and the acceleration of a Hippo knee-deep in water.  It made it to 70 mph on the motorway, but would it fuck go any faster when you were on anything more of an incline of 2% uphill.  Also the wheel bearings were shot in one wheel that meant when you tried to turn the wheel a fraction to the right you heard a sound you don’t really wanna hear when driving We still rocked the shit out of the van thanks to Radio 1 haha!  Took roughly 1hr 45 mins to get there, 45 minutes to take down our marquees and 1hr 40 to get back (I drive faster than Maddsy hahahaha) Not too bad a trip out, altho there were loads of them little bastard bugs, as the marquee was erected next to a lake, and so you can imagine the trip home.  One of us starts to scratch and that starts  the other off.  Then before you know it we’re both like a pair of dogs with fleas   You all know the sort of bugs too.  The ones that were attrached to our Yellow Ratchet Straps like a moth to a flame.  You can’t go outside in White or Yellow for fear of being covered in the little blighters

The villages of Glees and Wassenach, in western Germany, have had a long-running spat over which is better – at everything from ploughing the straightest lines to making the biggest sausages.

Now the dispute has moved into the relatively obscure field of downhill wheelie bin racing – in which competitors speed down a hill clinging to the back of their council-provided waste receptacles.

But officials have discovered that some contestants have already been resorting to nefarious means to gain an advantage.

‘They are supposed to be exactly as the council provided them, but we have found one or two trying to improve their chances with unapproved adaptations like skateboard wheels,’ commented one official.

Impressively, the results of the race will be screened nationwide on a cable and satellite channel.

LINK to the story on metro.co.uk

I wonder if it’ll be available on any websites! Fingers crossed it’ll appear on youtube for us all to see

OMG How I can’t wait for November to come round.  I’ll admit to losing a bit of love for the last Call of Duty once the 2nd new map pack came out, but I’m lookingm forward to getting my hands on the new one!!  Gonna have to sort out my XBOX Live too, wqhich I just let run-down after the 3 months and is currently offline

I’m loving the song below at the minute. Becoming one of the most played songs on my IPOD hehe

School 1977 vs. School 2007
Many a true word is spoken in jest but…….

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1977 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2007 – Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.

Scenario: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1977 – Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him the slipper.

1977 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang.  Psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.

Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .

1977 – Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.

2007 – Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.

1977 – Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.

2007 – Mohammed’s cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1977 – Ants die.

2007 –  MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with  perpertrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1977 – Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2007 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in  prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

It’s been quite a deflating time to be an England fan this World Cup.  Only a victory over “the smallest nation in the competition” the only real thing worth noting.  It was a dismal defeat to the Germans yesterday, and all the talk over here is now on goal-line technology.  Not that it’ll help Robert Green when he spills the ball over the line again, and according to stats on Sky Sports straight after the game we’re the country with the most shots on goal.  not like we’d have troubled the goal-line technology much apart from Frank Lampard’s “GOAL”.  I’m not gonna rant about it because we were poor and I realised it once the Germans went 3-1 up.  I was kinda expecting it, but i would have hoped that we had gone down with a bit of fight and belief! Not lie down and let an experienced, but far more technical German team help lay the Ghosts of 1966 and also the famous 5-1 in Munich.  Too many players just took it for granted and didn’t perform.  Only Wayne Rooney will know why he had such a poor tournament.

Had a nice long weekend away in Primroe Valley near Filey in north Yorkshire the other week.  Went up with Claires Mum and Step-Dad Andy, and her Sister Michelle and her family including her nephew Jamie.  Was great to just chill out, altho getting itchy eyes on the Saturday from swimming and not getting too much sleep due to being sleeping in the living room, meaning no sleep till everyone else had gone to bed, and Jamie and Gaby being awake from half 6 every morning Ahh well Kids will be kids I know and static caravans = very little sleep when kids are present.  Anyway called into York on the way back and had quite a nice day out in the sun on the Monday before heading back home to work.

Back to the opening paragraph.  It was my Great Aunty Barbara’s Daughters Wedding (Sue) and so I’d had the day off work booked as soon as I became aware.  It was held in Retford near where they live and I have to say it was a great day, and the hotel was lovely.  The weather held out and it was red hot, and I have no complaints regarding the meal afterwards.  There was a disco and BBQ reception which it seems went down a treat.  It’s always great to see families gathering together, and it was even better to see Barbara’s son John, who has a very serious job which I won’t really go into, but it means being abroad more often than not. I’ll try and get some photos of the wedding once they’ve been posted up, becasue like a muppet I didn’t really take any   Once I find some sneaking their way onto facebook then I’ll copy a few over onto here.  One thing that didn’t go down too well was the constant “You’re next I’ll bet” comments being fired my way.  Grrrrrrrr

Sue and Richard Kaye

Wiggys UK Tour map

Was quite amusing when me and Grant got to the Cambridge one, as it had been raining through the week for the Cereal Show and basically wet fields + Tractors can’t be a good thing for the ground.  It was an absolute slurry, and 2 or 3 times we thought the poor old Renault Traffic van of ours was gonna get stuck in mud that had been churned up by a few days of tractor usage.  It was horrible and the van was caked in mud by the time we had left.  Tractors were being used to tow massive HVG’s that were needed on individual stands to help break them down, and I’m so glad our marquees are as easy to take down as they are, or it’d have been even worse

Example of a stuck lorry

Wonder what the racecourse Groundsmen call that ground!?!

The pigs would be very happy

Lovely Jubbly

Few examples of just how bad the mud was at the showground.  Would have been loads more fun in the L200 we have at work haha

They have also done the Germany 4-0 Australia game.  Seems like a lot of people are not liking the Vuvuzelas and it seems 6000 has received a few comments on just this subject.  I am of the opinion that they are no worse than these bloody things, that are constant drowning during England games at Wembley.  Having Tinitus it’s not too much of a hinderance listening to the Vuvuzelas It goes quite well with the constant ringing in my ears I feel.

• 

  The African powerhouse ~ GHANA

• 

  Unknown (to me) quantities ~ SLOVENIA

• 

  Fear them ~ NORTH KOREA

It’s only a little 50p per team bet which will give the winner £10.  I’m just gutted I didn’t get chance to get Spain, Brazil or England as I normally win anything that remotely resembles a Sweepstake at work

Also got a little joke from my mum through email so thought I’d stick it on here

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question,

‘When you die and go to Heaven…which part of your body goes first?’

Suzy raised her hand and said, ‘I think it’s your hands.’

‘Why do you think it’s your hands, Suzy?’

Suzy replied, ‘Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.’

‘What a wonderful answer!’ the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, ‘Sister, I think it’s your feet…
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. ‘Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?’

Little Johnny said, ‘Well, I walked into Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom the other night. Mummy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, ‘Oh God, I’m coming! If Dad hadn’t pinned her down, we’d have lost her.’

The Nun fainted!

Yesterday was a bit of a random day.  Headed off to Hereford for work and I managed to get there bang on time, and Sat Nav took me a slightly different route to the one me and Maddsy took the week before.  Wasn’t till I was on my way back that I started to wonder when it was taking me one a completely different route Proper adventure time haha!  I started to panic when I saw signs for Gloucester when I knew in my mind I should have been heading for Birmingham.  Still it took me about the same time to get home as it did to get there and so all’s well that ends well, even tho the first hour or so was spent on windy country lanes behind a wide load truck.  That was specially amusing when we’re heading down narrow lanes that you could possibly squeeze 2 cars side by side with their wing mirrors in the hedge rows! Was glad to be behind him thats for sure

Random Journey