Wiggy's World

So here it goes folks!! The blog you’ve all been waiting for eagerly for the last year, since it was announced where I would be going for my “Stag-Do”

Started off at 2:40 when my alarm went off, and I had some random drum and bass shit pumping out the stereo! Quickly got ready, and made myself a drink to wake myself up, before heading off to pick Meatball up from Warsop way, and then head off to Berry Hill to pick up Teddy and Smithy! From there the laughs just kept coming and coming!

Karl on the bus down

Meatball complete with “Davey-Crocket” hat

On the drive down you could feel the excitement, and everyone was in jovial spirits, and having a laugh at meatball and ryan! Called in at a petrol station for a piss and fag break, and Ryan went to get a paper, and said “Come on smile” and his reply was “You wouldnt smile if you were working the night shift” and basically went off on one at him, to which he replied “whoooooooooaaaaa” and left it at that. Had a bit of fun with one or two lorry drivers when we got to Stanstead, one of whom we thought was gonna follow us

Meatball showing us his guns outside Stanstead.

The checking-in and everything went ok, and the flight lasted about 1 hour 45 minutes, and there was no touble or anything! Got off the plane and meatball kissed the floor, looking glad to be alive hahaha. Met up with the guides Ema and Kinga and they took us to the mini-bus which in turn took us to the hotel. Bratislava at that point looked more like a war-zone than anything else, and we were struggling to find the fit women we’d read about on the internet.

We all went upto out rooms, and then had an hour to get ready for the go-karting. The rooms were quite nice, and a quick shower and change and we were ready to rock and roll, as we’d agreed to all go and get some snap before go-karting. This is where we found the Muff cafe, so in typical british lad style, we decided to eat there Trying to order chip cobs proved difficult even for Wayniac HAHAHA

wayniac – “15 chip cobs please!”

woman – “sorry? cobs?”

wayniac – “bread” “chips and bread” (bit like peter kay)

woman – “ah, no chip cobs”

wayniac – “got bread?”

woman – “yes”

wayniac – “15 chips with bread please”

woman – “only do chips” “not both”

wayniac – “right…. sod it… 15 chips and 15 ketchup please”

Pic from outside muff cafe.. which turned out to be an ice-cream place

Once we’d all finished we headed back to the hotel ready to be picked up for go-karting.

Wayniac, Karl, Smithy and Magoo enjoying a beer before we head off karting

Seemed to take forever to get there, and I could feel the adreneline pumping when we pulled up and saw the sign for Indianapolis Go-Karting Typically Ryan decided to wear his flip-flops to go go-karting, so I had to lend him my trainers, and its safe to say it aint something i wanna do again! I was feeling great and ready for action even tho meatball was stood at the side of me constantly saying “I’m shitting it here” Thinking he was gonna go straight into the tyres on one corner! Turned out the bloke who only really rides on two wheels was the quickest in the go-karts too! Wayniac beat everyone by a good half a second I think, and this with a major incident, in which he went drifintg straight into the tyres, and burnt his arm just after impact on the engine!

Scott doing his usual dancing routine

Random pic of the go-karting track

After the last race we were all poured a drink, which tasted like Vinegar, and I think everyone left, it was that horrid. Got back to the hotel, shower, change and then we went out to find somewhere to eat again.

We all went to get some food again, and ended up back at the Muff Cafe, where some of us had the mixed grill, and it was really nice

Once we were all fueled up, we went back and all got ready for the bar crawl that night. Was a great night, and we visited a few pubs, and after the first pub, poor al tripped over a bollard in the middle of the street, and wouldnt forget about that for the rest of the weekend hehe! We ended up in some club called Laverna which was quite a good pub, and there was some bloke walking round with a camera, and he gave me a buisiness card on with a website, so when I got back, i had a look and found these from Friday night…

Ryan and Scott

The Dancing God that is Meatball

Smithy having it large

Me and Ol busting some shapes

From the nightclub, we all seemed to walk to find a kebab house so some of the lads could get something to eat. This is where it got a bit mental!

Firstly Meatball decided to strike a pose whilst laid out on the floor in front of a zebra crossing, for a similar conversation to this to be struck up…

“Meatball… thats a cop car get up”

“Nah it’s a taxi or sommat! It says Polici and theres no flashing sirens”

“Meatball that means police… and its a cop car”

“Shit help me up teddy”

Once at the kebab place Ryan got his first, and in that time quite a queue seemed to have formed, including most of our lads, and these 2 slovak lasses. Meatball was laid on the floor striking some sort of adonis pose, but the ladies were having non of it, so he started going on one, about having shits before their country was formed etc etc etc.. This was making us piss, so me, teddy and ste took a walk down the road a bit out of the way. Meatball soon joined us, and me, him and teddy started walking to find a shop or something. In the mean time, Wayniac was doing his bit for international relations between the two countries, and handed the 2 girls a hand-full of change… then turned round and said “I dont know if i’ve given them enough money for a kebab or to buy a house”

Me, Teddy and Meatball found this 24hr shop, and bought a few bits and bobs, and then headed in for the night.

Got up next morning and went down for breakfast before they stopped serving it at 10, and then went for a nice walk around with Ste, Maddsy and Ryan. The kebab and sauce maddsy had the night before must have caught up with him tho, cos he buggered off into macdonalds for a bit

Ryan and Maddsy then went back for a power-nap before machine-gun shooting, so me and Ste made the most of it, and decided to go for a walk about and see what Bratislava had to offer

Random cultural clock tower

Ste contemplating our next move

Ste showing if you put your mind to it you can lift anything

The Bigger picture *sorry ste*

A rather dirty Danube river

Me and Ste then had a walk back up towards the hotel, where we bumped into Spongebob Monotone, Al and Stu. So had a bit of a walk round with them 3, and as we were contemplating walking back to the hotel… we bumped into KArl and Wayniac sat outside their favourite cafe Turns out they’d been there since about 8 in the morning! We were all a little hungry so decided to get something to eat there and then! Was quite amusing, as Wayniac asked for the Grilled Salmon, but she came out and said they didnt have any, they only had fish. So as he obviously fancied fish, he said “I’ll have just the fish” then sat there saying it’ll either be swimming on the plate, or it’ll have everything still on! Head the lot….

Wayniac in THE t-shirt haha

“Just the fish”

After having a bit to eat, we headed off to the hotel to get ready for the highlight of the weekend…. The Machine Gun Shooting! Once on the mini-bus it took us the best part of an hour to get there, and the drivers over there are crazy mother fuckers

Once there we were sat waiting for the “Rocky Marciano” group to finish their shooting, so we all sat arsing about joking and laughing. First gun we got to shoot was the Scorpion, where we had 15 bullets to try and knock over as many targets as possible, and then we moved onto the AK47! HAd to shoot at the paper targets with these, as they’d have destroyed the metal targets

Pic of afore mentioned Scorpion

Meatball with the Scorpion

Ryan giving it to the targets

“Say hello to my little friend”

Selection of guns available for a few extra $$’s

Once we’d all had a go on the Scorpions, we moved back into the shed, and armed up with the AK47′s! Woo hoo!!

Meatball preparing to “Unleash hell”

Maddsy proving a dab hand at this shooting lark

Next up was Smithy

Then Teddy trying his luck

Once we’d all had a go on the AK’s we were allowed to choose some more weapons to fire! So Me, Meatball and Karl decided to go for the 1940′s Sniper rifle, whilst Maddsy and Olly went for the Shotgun, and Ol also had a pistol of some kind (cant remember which one)

Meatball with his new toy

Ste posing with an AK47

Our Ryan looking as “Hill-Billy” as they come

Britains last line of defence HAHAHA

Check out my guns

The lads

Everyone was buzzing after the machine-gun shooting, and I ended up with a nasty bruise on my shoulder, and a big lump came up almost straight away. We were all laughing and joking and the bus was buzzing on the way back to the hotel. Once back we didnt have long before we were being picked up for the bowling. On the way to bowling we took a route which was straight out of beirut haha! And Ryan joked that we seemed to be heading to some Miners Welfare place or something, and he turned out to be right hahaha! Bowling was a great laugh, and everytime you got a strike, naked women would appear on the screen It was mint! After the first game I got a bit bored of normal bowling, so decided to do some proper spin bowling, and a few others joined in too! I just grabbed it like a normal football and spun it down the alley! It was so funny to see the reaction of some of them, who’d never witnessed it before! Banana bowling

We decided to give the Casino a miss, as we didnt really have much time to get anything to eat, so we all headed off to get some snap before we went out on the Cocktail bar crawl. Altho before that we all ploughed into the Dubliners bar, and had some food. Me and Smithy had the classic Steak, and I can safely say that I aint had a steak like it! It was amazing! We stayed in there for a while, and watched Amir Khan fighting, and it was here I discovered Jägermeister and Red Bull! Maddsy, Teddy and Meatball were sat at the bar and had one or two already by the time i’d gone to join them, so I got the next round in, and a few rounds later we were off. Tried to get into a cocktail bar, but it was too crowded, so we went somewhere else instead. After that we lost Magoo!!

We all fancied another club like the night before, but somewhere different, so we went over to this club on a boat. It was rammed in there, and it was like an oven! We didnt end up staying in there too long, but long enough for a few more comedy moments from Meatball!

First of all he ran over to the side of the boat, and pretended to put his thumb over a hole, and said “We’re sinking” A bit later he sat down, and with a quick flick of the wrist, sent his drink down the table, making it look like we were sat at an angle Then we were sat on some sofas, and these 3 slovak girls were sat near us, and 2 germans sat opposite….

German Pervs: “sprechen sie deutsche”

Females: “no”

Meatball: “pick a good chat up line there youth, like asking an Iraqi if they speak American! Fuck Off”

Once we’d all left the boat club, some of them headed home, and some headed back to the Irish bar for another few drinks, before the gang split up even more, with some going back to the hotel, and one or two others staying in the pub! Me, Maddsy, Ste and Smithy then went for a walk, and found another place to have a drink, and by the time i got back to the hotel room I was feeling a little ill! Too much of a cocktail of pro-plus and Jägermeister and Red Bull among other things

Sunday was basically a day of chilling, and people trying to get rid of all their monopoly money At one point Wayniac had 1500 SKK in his wallet, and there were no shops open or anything! So he was tempted to slap a womans ass, then give her 1000 for the pleasure It was a good way to wind down after the hectic 2 days before that! After a long walk round Bratislava looking for somewhere with the MotoGP on for Karl and Wayniac, they decided to head back to the hotel, whilst me, Teddy and Maddsy took a walk round a shop that was just across the way from the hotel, that we didnt know existed, until we walked past it Turns out they had the MotoGP on in the bar in the hotel, so once we’d all got our cases out, we nipped upstairs for the final few laps. After that it was a case of all pile on the bus, and over to the airport for the flight home

Once we’d checked in and everything, it appeared to be a mad dash to “splash the cash” and I ended up swooping for a big bottle of my new favourite spirit – Jägermeister and the old favourite – Amaretto. Then I had 20 SKK left, so i dontated it to Maddsy

Even the flight home had it’s comedy moments! Including Meatball getting a nose bleed, due to change in pressure, and his attempt at writing on Wayniacs bald head in front of him, and on Spongebob Monotones face Once we were back home, and through passport control, I headed straight for Baggage reclaim and got some of the cases off straight away, and we spotted Adrians coming round, but there was no sign of him! Turns out our baggage was on Reclaim bit 1… and he was stood watching 6 going round!!!! Where the flights were from Santander and other places Bloody IDIOT!! I thought that the drive back, everyone would be passed out as soon as we left Stanstead, but that wasn’t to be. Radio 1′s Dance Anthems with Dave Pearce blasting out, kept everyone buzzing, and it wasn’t long before we were coming off the M1 at Junction 27 (with no boy-racers!!) Got the bus to drop me off on the way through to ASDA, as we took a shirt cut through Ravensdale, so Meatball, Teddy and Smithy all jumped off too, and I gave them lifts home. Then that was that! Roll on Riga ’08 or whereever it is we all decide to go! Hopefully one or two more will wanna come, and we can take 2 or 3 off the list, so we’re left with about 15 or 16

Bye for now