Last night went to the gym, and worked chest, but this morning I’m feeling it more in my shoulder! Woke up in the middle of the night with a pain that felt like someone had stabbed me Think I’ll give it a miss tonight, and see how I feel, as I did feel it getting a bit niggly last night towards the end.  My dad phoned me just before half time with Newcastle coasting 2-0, and then Morrison went and popped the ball in the top corner.  His first words were, “who’s the team in the purple, cos it damn sure aint Newcastle” To which we both chuckled, that then turned to me turning the air blue for a minute He did the same just after they scored with the time on the clock reading 90+4!! Good old Micky Owen came off the bench to grab the winner with his only chance! So thats 2 goals in about 40 minutes of football for the lad :lol:  Spidey is looking like an immense signing by Keegan, and Pot Noodle head seems to be settling in well enough ;)  Lets hope this aint a false dawn for the Toon!!!

Not overly impressed

anyhow, went to football on Friday, and in “Team Red” was me, Coop, Tom, Phil, John, Ollie and Smithy against the rest.  SHOULD have been a complete mis-match, but after only a few minutes we were 3 goals to nil down which may have been to my defending but hey-ho :oops:  In the end we ended up winning, but not before a few comical moments.  One involving John shouting “Put it in the mixer” To which I turned round and asked “who the fuck said that gay little PUT IT IN THE MIXER” To which everyone started laughing at him, but then Tom had the ball right in the corner of the pitch, and we proceeded to play one-twos all the way down the pitch, until in a tired screech i shouted “Tom” in what can only be described by Troy as a “Very gay way”  Didn’t matter cos I still scored :lol:  After football, Me, Tom, Phil and Troy nipped back to the pub, with it being the last week Tom could make it to football, as he was moving down to Kent with his missus and needs to sort his accommodation out and that.  Had a right laugh once inside the pub, cos for some reason Phil wanted to sit outside where it was getting bloody cold :lol:  Got home after a shandy or two, and felt fucked :shock:  All that running about had made me quite dehydrated, and the lager on top just made me feel quite merry :oops:  Spent the night chatting to folks on msn, and watching the odd film or two

Woke up Saturday morning nice and early, and nipped over to drop some fliers off for our Malc.  He was out collecting with our Stef, but Kelly was in with the 3 kids, Megan, Loren and Reece.  Loren and Megan were telling me how they were getting Grandad Mick into trouble and that they love High School Musical, so I told them that Stef has High school Musical posters on his wall, and Kelly agreed and that they should ask him next time he’s there if it’s true :lol:  Bout half 10ish I headed over to Blidworth to go and pick Susan up.  She’d been in a pickle and  needed to get over to Derby train station for 11:45 so I offered to take her.  Was a fun journey, specially when you take a slight wrong turn (Damn having no sat nav) and you end up losing signs for the train station.  Was getting quite frustrated about it, but luckily managed to get her there for bout 11:40ish and just in time for her train!

Decided to head over to my mothers from Derby, so made myself comfortable whilst she went and had her haircut, and made myself something to eat whilst watching the Aberdeen vs Rangers game.  This game normally has a little extra edge which is always great to watch :D  Went on the computer and tried to find a Newcastle stream, but there were non online, so I had to settle for Soccer Saturday :(  Newcastle won 1-0 anyway, with a great save from Shay Given from a Kevin Nolan penalty, and then Michael Owen came off the bench to score the winner.. with his head YET AGAIN!!

Given Penalty Save… Owen Goal 1… Owen Goal 2

Left my mum and dads at half time in the 3 o’clock kick off games, and gave my mother ans sister a lift over to Tescos before making my way home so I could get ready for Brad and Tanya’s wedding reception later saturday evening.  Got over to Maddys’s bout 7ish, and was attacked by his silly dog, which then ended up outside! Wiggy 1 - Lexi 0.  Kieran was being a little shit, getting his toys out, then giving me evils when I tried to put them away Followed the Maddox’s over to South Normanton for the reception.  Walked through the doors into the area where everyone was sat, and got a hero like reception from Bobby, Moorey and a few others :lol:  Was great to see them guys again, and they were all pestering me to come back and play! Will leave that decision down to Brad.  It was a fun night laughing with some of the footy lads, altho I thought it was bad form that most of them all decided to fuck off into town by about 9pm.  Still me, maddsy and family, Bobby and Maz, and Moorey and his missus stayed and had a good laugh dancing like twats :lol:  for some reason Stevie thought it would be a good idea for me and Maddsy to go and have our ears peirced together Never let it be said, that Stevie has no sense of humour

Mini beer mat tower Dylan wanted me to build…  All the lads… Maddsy eating for 2

Me and Moorey… Kieran directing traffic… Now thats how you dance people

Found myself up early again on Sunday morning, this time to pick our Lewi up and give him another lift to work *rollseyes*  I’m far too bloody nice for my own good :lol:  And then spent most of the morning watching The Sunday Supplement, waiting for the bloody journos to start spreading crap about Newcastle United again, and then I heard the shock rumour of the day… Newcastle to bid £12 Million for Malouda… WTF.  Went over to my mums bout 1ish to get ready to go see some of the family over at my Great Uncle Robs.  stef wasn’t too impressed that I’d told Megan and Loren about his posters HAHAHA!

Got round to Robs about half 2ish, and  my Great Aunty Barbara decided to nearly drive into me! Women :P  Waited for her to get out the car, then followed her and her grand-daugther Amy up the drive.  Julie was already at the door waiting, and warned me NOT to venture into the back garden, cos Rob would get me helping him out!  Great to see he aint lost non of his charm or anything, and he soon had “Google-Dave” a.k.a. my father, and my grandad doing all the cooking of the meat, whilst he just seemed to float around.  Barbara was being really evil to me, but I think she more than met her match with me, and in all it turned out to be a very funny afternoon in the company of loads of family members I’d not seen for a long time

Few pics from the BBQ including my dad, grandad, Rob, Jemma and mum

Had not been home long, when I had an S.O.S. call from Notts Train Station. Turned out Susan had got the train back to Notts, but there were no trains running to Mansfield, and all her friends were out drinking and that, so again I came to the rescue! Altho I ended up missing Simpsons the Movie, so I wasn’t that impressed!!  Got back home and chatted online for a bit, before heading to bed.

Woke up startled bout half 12 Monday morning, thinking “WTF I’m very late for work” only to realise it was a Bank Holiday Monday :D  So I basically spent the whole day monging out on the sofa watching telly :D  And that my dear internet readers is that

First of all Happy Birthday to our Lew.  Getting on a bit now son

It’s not been the most interesting 3 weeks I’ll admit.  Mainly it’s been work ~> Gym ~> Home and chill out sort of thing during the week, then pop over to my mum and dads at the weekend and that.  Also been out down Liquid once or twice, and chilled out near the DJ box with Pete.

Anyway this weekend has been much busier, so I think I’ll get right to it haha!  Friday went to football as per the norm now, and Tom told me and Phil it was his last week, as he was moving down Maidstone for his job in a week or two, so we’re arranging a drink this coming friday I think.  For some reason I couldn’t hit the back of the net, altho all shots were on target.  I just seemed to manage to smash them all into Coops stomach, or just close enough for him to get a hand on He’s turning into Lee Westwood No.2 in regards that I can never seem to score past the fucker :oops:  Wasn’t so bad cos Tom and Phil were struggling to get amongst the goals too! It was left to the likes of Mak and Bold to fluke them in HAHAHA.  I must admit I’m not overly impressed with which ever bloke leaves his big Connaught truck right next to my house! Means I can’t really park at the side of my house without blocking him in!! So means I have to leave my car in front of the house which is not the safest place given how some people drive round the corner onto my street

Spent most of the day on saturday watching football on Setanta, Soccer Saturday and Sky Sports I was loving it now the Premier League season is back on! Loads of live football hehe!  I was feeling really tired as I have done quite a lot lately :(  Spent Saturday night watching a few films with a few beers and basically just chilling out in anticipation for the Toons season opener @ The Theatre of Screams (Well it has been for us in the past )

Woke up Sunday bout half 7, and made my way over to Rainworth to go and pick my brother up, and drop him off at a job at the top end of Mansfield in Ladybrook, and then once I’d put some petrol in the car, decided to make a small detour on the way home via McDonalds for a breakfast.  Then spent the morning tidying up the house, whilst taking long breaks to watch the Olympics.  Our Lew couldnt get much work done, so rang be bout 12ish and said would it be possible for him to come round for a brew, so I finished tidying up and went to pick him up.  Called into Tesco for some Tea Bags and a few other bits and bobs, and we ended up watching Chelsea looking pretty awesome with Deco slotting into the midfield as if he’d been there years.  Once half-time arrived I nipped our Lew back home, and then proceeded to watch the Celtic game.  Phil came round just as that game was finishing, and for some reason thought the game had already kicked off

Was a tight game, and I thought Newcastle played brilliant, altho there were one or two dodgy moments, like Shay Given saving with his head from a Fraizer Campbell header! He knew nothing about it, but looked awesome.  Took the lead through an awesome Martins header, and Vidic was being a dirty cunt and seemed to elbow/forearm smash Steven Taylor in the back, resulting him in having to go off to receive treatment.  Dirty Cunt.  Anyway that was to prove pivotal, as within seconds of kicking off, and with us down to 10 men, missing our CB, Man Utd went and scored! Of all the people it was Darren Fucking Fletcher! Credit where credit is due to the team tho.. We dug in, and appeared to be going for the win, which has surprised alot of Man Utd fans, who are used to teams going there, and defending for their lives.  Rooney was no-where near fit, and then decided to hack down our players *rollseyes*  All in all after writing 2 of the first 3 games of the seaon off as defeats (Man Utd @ Old Trafford and Arsenal @ The Emirates) I was more than chuffed to get a point.  Hopefully we can get 3 from Bolton this weekend, and go into the Arsenal game full of confidence, and attack them like this weekend just gone.

Oba’s Goal….

Once Phil left I decided to have a bath, and then chilled out for the evening, on football365 forum and chatting to a few people on msn.

Was woken up Monday morning by the Dustbin Man banging on my door.  Dressed in only my shorts I answered via my bedroom window, and was suddenly woken up when he said the words “Sorry mate looks like someone’s broken into your car” I fealt my heart suddenly race, and realised as soon as I’d got there what they’d done.  The fucking wankers had seen the cable coming from the fag-lighter and took a guess that the Sat Nav was in the car somewhere.  They’d ignored the full bottle of Lacoste aftershave and hundreds of CD’s but just got the sat nav, the holder that sticks to the window and the power cable!  All in all it’s cost £70 excess.  Since then I’ve been feeling a bit down again!  Everyone seems to be in couples and things, and I’ve got next to no money for the Bank Holiday weekend, and I dont get paid till Thursday next week! Also the inconveiniance of having to pay to replace my window that some pikey cunt had put through!!

Spent Monday evening and Tuesday evening moping round the house, feeling down, but luckily John was back Wednesday, sowe went to the gym.  He was looking VERY brown!!  Worked on the chest, and decided that I’d try and go heaveier than before he left, and it was a struggle but it worked, and I was aching like fuck on Thursday morning.  Went round to my mum and dads on Wednesday night straight from the gym, and ended up sat watching the England match with my father as my mother was off at a meeting or something (Possibly a God Squad meeting )  I think it’s safe to say that IF Fabio had the balls, he’d drop Lampard from the England squad.  His performance against the Czechs made me realise just how much work the other 2 midfielders in the 3 work at Chelsea! Michael Ballack is twice the player Lampard is in my eyes! I have a feeling most of Lampards goals are through his selfishness when he see’s the whites of the goals, and they get a little deflection on the way which wrong foots the keeper or something! Plus he’s their penalty taker or something.  Rooney was running round like a lost chicken! Beckham just doesn’t have the legs any more, and I’d like to see Bentley or Milner given a run down the right wing, cos we need players getting tot he by-line.  Beckham was just pinging crosses in from 40 yards out, and they were easy pickings for the goalkeeper or centre-backs rto deal with *rollseyes again*

Went to the gym again last night, and now I’m aching like fuck! I really must get some Glucosamine tablets for my shoudlers, and the joints seem to be getting worse!! :(  Tonight it’s footy again, and then back for a beer or two with Tom and anyone else interested, as he’s moving away and it’s the last time he’ll be able to get (which is good for when he’s on the other team )

I will upload photos of the damage to the car door and the perspex window when I get home, and also will update this with anything else should I remember it

BOBBY ROBSON has won countless battles during a career which has earned him a permanent place in the nation’s hearts.

But his latest fight, sadly, will be his last.

English football’s favourite knight has admitted that a fifth bout of cancer affecting his lungs will be the one which sends him to his grave.

He knows his time is coming to an end in a matter of months.

Yet his legacy will never die. No one would ever let that happen.

Sir Bobby has taken on and outwitted many a top-notch coach and team in his glorious life.

From memorably leading Ipswich to domestic and European triumph to taking England unforgettably to the brink of World Cup glory, Robson knows what combat means.

Images of his jigs of touchline delight at Italia 90 will never fail to bring a smile to anyone’s face.

But taking on the illness that has hit him so cruelly once again is beyond him. Specialists have told the 75-year-old to prepare for the worst.Typically, he will fight until the bitter end.

Emotionally, he revealed to SunSport: “I have accepted what they have told me and I am determined to make the most of what time I have left. I have been fortunate to survive this long. It is thanks to my doctors and their dedication.

“My condition is described as static and has not altered since my last bout of chemotherapy.

“They have arrested the growth of the tumours on my lungs and I have my next scan shortly.

“I am going to die sooner rather than later. But then everyone has to go sometime and I have enjoyed every minute.

“I don’t even think about it and my biggest problem today was unrelated, just old-fashioned laryngitis.” Caring, charismatic and with time for anyone, Robson is loved by all.

He may have been struggling with cancer for 17 years but continues to spread his warmth over everyone.

Donating a £500,000 cheque on behalf of the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation for a new dedicated cancer research centre in his beloved Newcastle yesterday simply said everything about the man.

Troubled times? The worst. You will not find him, though, shutting himself away in despair.

He added: “I am not going to sit around at home thinking about what might or might not happen.

“I have always found it difficult to turn down good causes and invitations from people I know.

“My family and close friends have always said I should say ‘No’ more often and now is no different.

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“It has been a hectic summer. I have watched a couple of days of Wimbledon, several days of Test cricket and Durham county cricket.

“I had my own celebrity golf tournament in Portugal and managed to enjoy a few days holiday afterwards before returning to London, where I was honoured by the Football League Managers Association.

“They not only inducted me into their Hall of Fame with a host of celebrities but it was at a special dinner, the first of its kind.”

The word legend may be used too freely in the modern world of egotistical football stars. Yet it was made for blokes like Bobby Robson.

Will anyone ever repeat what he did with Ipswich, after a playing career which saw spells at Fulham, West Brom and Vancouver Royals plus caps earned for England?

A difficult start to managerial life with Fulham was put to bed when he strolled into Portman Road in 1969. At the end of a 13-year spell, the Tractor Boys had landed the UEFA Cup, the FA Cup and twice finished runners-up in the title race.

England came calling after a nightmare World Cup campaign in 1982.

It took Diego Maradona’s shameful Hand of God ‘goal’ to help send England home from the 1986 World Cup and, though failure followed in the 1988 European Championships, Italia 90 saw Robson at his best.

Carving a team built around the twinkling talent of Gazza, the finishing of Gary Lineker and the pride and power of Stuart Pearce, only a crushing penalty shootout defeat by West Germany stopped the Three Lions from reaching the final and exacting revenge on a sub-standard Argentina side.

He headed to PSV Eindhoven and discovered a striker called Ronaldo. Robson signed the Brazilian while bossing Barcelona, arriving in La Liga via Porto and Sporting Lisbon.

His spell at the Nou Camp saw the Spanish Cup, Spanish Super Cup and European Cup-Winners’ Cup all bagged in his first year.

The madmen at the Nou Camp promptly decided to push him ‘upstairs’ and after just a year he went back to PSV before, in 1999, returning ‘home’ to Newcastle.

He took the Toon on a rollercoaster of Champions League emotions before Freddy Shepherd shamefully dumped him in 2004.

A spell helping Steve Staunton with the Republic of Ireland followed but his ill-health continued.

An operation for a brain tumour in 2006 was negotiated. Then in May last year, cancer returned yet again — this time in his lungs.

Despite that, he is still bursting with an enthusiasm and love for football that should be studied by many of the money-grabbing mercenaries polluting the beautiful game today.

And the man is so special that Alex Ferguson even put to one side his bitter feud with the BBC last December to present him personally with a lifetime achievement award.

There will be only one Bobby Robson.

We must enjoy him while we can, as we will certainly miss him when he is gone.

Awesome

FBK Kaunas 2-1 Rangers (agg 2-1)

Happy Birthday to my father - hope you had a good one

Happy Anniversary to Maddsy and Stevie - Another year without klling each other! Congrats

So another weekend has been and gone in the life of young Wiggy :lol:  Was an amusing one too!

So anyway Thursday night went over to the gym and had a session on the shoulders, and it bloody hurt! First proper session since before John went to Malia, and I payed for it! Really need to keep going when him and Caz are away in a few weeks After that it was home to chill out and watch some CSI on Five US

Friday one or two words were spoken to me by Maddsy, and I came off suicide watch at work :lol:  It seems to be a case of other people getting involved in something and trying to make a bigger scene of things *rollseyes*  Got home and got changed and then headed over for the usual Friday meeting of footballing retards that turn up at Manor.  Was another laugh, altho I’m not best pleased with Smithy who thought it’d be a good idea to slide in on me from behind, and meant I ended up skidding along the astro-turf on my knee and elbow GRRRR!  The rest of Friday night was spent chilling out on MSN speaking to a few mates.

Saturday morning I got up and heade over to my mums to see if she wanted a lift down to the coffee shop.  Got there, and the door was part open, but I looked up stairs and there appeared to be no-one in, so I locked the door and headed off down to the coffee shop.  Bout 2 minutes later Sue and Kev walked in, so ended up chatting to them till my mother strolled in straight from the bus from Mansfield - armed with a Next bag, and plenty of food for the tea we were gonna have later that evening.  Dropped the stuff off at home, and my mum showed me the 3 tops she’d bought our Owen from the Next sale, and then I gave her a lift upto Oak Tree Tesco.  I do enjoy this at times, as I can normally get away with throwing the odd thing in.  anyway I ended up walking out of Tesco’s with a nice Suit Jacket (trousers will follow soon)  2 DVD’s…  Step Up 2 - The Streets and Semi-Pro and 2 books.  The books are based around the Iraq and Afghanistan fighting our troops are doing, and are written by the troops themselves.  Love reading bout folks under fire and that

Not long after my father came back from his golfing, saying that he’d qualified for the course championships or something, so congrats on that father.  The rest of the afternoon was quite fun, as our Lewi came up, and basically didnt say hi to me or my dad, but instead went straight upstairs and on to their computer to spend the afternoon on facebook.  My father a.k.a. Lardy was helping himself to his stash of Chocolate Digestive biscuits, on top of his dinner, yoghurt etc.  It’s easy to see where his apprentice Lardy jnr gets it from! If they aint got food in their hand, or nearby I can just imagine the pair of them having cold sweats :lol:  Anyway our Lew decided to grace us with his prescence, and we all chilled out on the settee watching the golf.

It didnt take long before I heard Lardy pipe up “These bloody golfers have got it easy now-days…  I have to play in conditions like that every time! I shot 8 over par today along with the “Mr X” and “Mr Y” and you dont hear us complain” This coming from the bloke who looks out the window 10 minutes before he’s due to Tee-off and if it’s raining decided against it! And he has the cheek to call these golfers “fair-weather players” HAHAHA  Me and our Lew then took the piss for a bit.  Our Hev wasn’t answering her phone, and by 5 my mum had already laid some snap out, so Lardy, me and our Lew decided to attack the snap! We left one or two cobs for Heather and Mike (as it was his birthday tea)  Suppose the moralof that story is… Snooze and you lose dear sister! Good job the pair of you like Salad as thats the majority of what was left :lol:  By 8 I was ready to head off home, so I took the mince my mum had cooked for me, along with the milk and cobs and headed off home.  spent the rest of the night watching my 2 dvd’s whilst chatting to folks on msn and facebook

Cant remember what time I got up sunday, but I spent the day nice and relaxed, whilst watching The Golf, followed by the German Grand Prix, followed by more Golf.  Once Pardaig Harrington had retained his British Open crown, The Great Espace has started on BBC2 :D  So enjoyed watching that and chatting to one or two people again.  Top Gear was quite amusing, specially with Mr Clarkson going round in the Nissan GTR and seeing him finally give up with a really bad neck after cornering under some serious G-force

Last night was the first proper chest session for a while, and Pete joined us, so once he’d signed his waiver which seemed to take a bloody age we were off and hurting straight away.  Felt good to feel the arms buckle under the weights again, and at one point on the bench I had the 60lbs weights above my head, when suddenly my wrist went, followed by my arms! Luckily Johnw as stood behind me, and managed to divert it away from my head! All happened in slow-motion, but it still hurt like hell as it hit my on the side of the head, and rubbed down my ear :oops:  Safe to say I wont be doing that again any time soon! Turns out Pete lives not a million miles away from me, and I dropped him off round Berry Hill, before heading home for some lovely Savoury Mince Suffering from DOMS at the minute, and I’ve just been joking with Wendy bout it, and we ended up looking for what it stood for on Wikipedia

Shoulders tonight I think The joys hahaha!

Flip Flop Glue Prank - Watch more free videos

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Anyway on with the update… Got my usual Friday dinner time text from Phil asing if I was going to football, and that him and Helen were skint, thus not going to the pub, only to text back an hour later, and say Fee was making them go to the pub, and did I fancy joining. Typically for a Friday afternoon this summer, it was bloody raining, thus making football that little bit more ermm interesting :lol:  For once me and Phil were on different sides, but it didnt stop some of the old magic coming to the fore! Scored one or two funky goals, with the odd fancy-dan flick thrown in :lol:  Meatball was on form again, and me and him just ended up sliding all over the pitch.  So much so that even with tracky bottoms on, I still ended up with Astro-Turf burns on my knees

Nipped home piss wet through, and quickly got changed and then headed over to the Rushley to go and meet Phil, Helen, Fee and young Tibbzy.  Had a decent night, altho Helen dissapeared for best part of an hour to catch up with Nab and some of his mates, which meant we were left with Troy and Stacey joining us! Oh the joys :lol:  Headed off home bout half 10 cos I couldnt keep my eyes open

Decided to have a lie in saturday, as I wasn’t feeling 100% and so when I finally felt like getting up I messed about round the house for a bit, before agreeing to go out round Mansfield later that night.  Later in the afternoon I headed over to my mum and dads for a bit, so I could nip into the shower, and my Grandma and Grandad were over there, and was nice to see them.  After they’d gone our Owen and Lewi came over, as our Owen was staying at my mum and dads that night.  Got ready and met Bagi, Wayniac and Daz in the Swan, and then a load of other people came along.  From there we headed down to 53 for a drink, before ending back up in the Swan :?  Daz seemed to be hyper and was beginning to annoy me a little, and that wasn’t helped by the 3 of them thinking drinking Jagermeister and Red Bull all night was a good idea *rollseyes* Anyway from the Swan we headed over to Yates’s.  Was pressured into having a beer, so opted for a Lager Shandy, as I still wasn’t feeling all that good.  After Yates’s we headed over to Wetherspoons, and met up with Pete, and Carla came in too.  Bagi, Daz and Wayniac were smashed by this point.  From there we went into the hell whole that is the 70’s bar or something thats opened up below QI.  I hated it in there, and the music if I’m honest, and didnt enjoy it in there one bit.

Against mine and Wayniacs wishes we ended up in Chicago, and not long later the night soured completley.  Daz and Bagi though it be a mint idea to go to the DJ and give him an announcement *cunts*  turned out they told him basically it was my 28th birthday and that I’d come out of the closet, to which he decided to announce to the pub! Marvelous! Then he started playing “I want to break free” “Gaybar” And It’s raining men” and then the message appeared on the tellies!! This pissed me off something rotten, and it may have been a good joke in their pissed up little minds, but not something I saw the funny side of!

Anyway I had had enough with their stupid antics, and my battery had all but died, so I fucked off home.  Was home by half 10.  Woke up bout half 11 sunday morning, and headed over to my mum and dads for some dinner.  My gums were sore, and giving me a bit of grief, specially through dinner, and it turned out to be pretty much the last thing I was to eat for a few days :(  Chilled out sunday afternoon, as I was feeling knackered, and then headed to bed to watch Bad Boys 2 on DVD, till I fell asleep.  Only problem was even tho I’d taken paracetamol, my gums were giving me a numb sort of pain.  Last time I’d turned over and checked the clock it was about 4am

Monday at work was tiresome, being as tired as I was.  Decided against going to the gym, as I felt I’d have done more harm than good.  Monday night was another sleepless affair, altho I ended up watching Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers and then The Return of The King, one after the other, which meant they finished bout half 11

Tuesday was a bad bad day.  I knicked my gum on something, and noticed that it started bleeding.  I think we’ve all done something like that before if you’ve over brushed or something, and just nicked your gum, but it stops bleeding after a bit.  Anyway it didnt really stop ALL DAY! Which got quite worrying around dinner time.  I’d managed to change my dentist appointment from Monday 21st to this coming Friday, but Wendy got quite worried as I seemed to be losing all the colour in my face.  The blood had started clotting at the back of my tooth, and it felt horrible :(  After speaking to the emergency dentist on the phone, she reccommended some Mouth Wash and Neurofen, which should help.  Anyway it still didnt stop, so Wendy rang my dentists and said “When I mean his gums are bleeding, I mean litterally blood is pouring out” and managed to get me a spot later that evening!  Finished everything I had to do, and then headed over to Kirkby.  I was sat in the waiting room, and my mouth looked like I’d been in the latest UFC Middleweight championship match HAHAHA.  Anyway after a deep clean, which hurt like hell in parts, the bleeding seemed to stop, but she said that having gotten under the gums, I could expect a little bleeding for the next 2/3 days.  I was able to the have a drink atleast

Yesterday I went to the gym, and we worked on the legs, as whilst I’d been “Skiving” John had already worked on his chest, shoulders and back! Maybe the fact he goes twice a day would be one reason :lol:  Anyway once I’d gotten back from the gym, and had a bath, my mum rang me to remind me that it was my Grandmothers birthday! I’d not entirely forgotten, as I knew it was around then.  Nipped to Tesco to buy a card and some flowers, and went round to see my grandma.  Had a lovely bit of cake, and ended up coming home with 3 tins of soup, and some fruit buns

Climb onto your neighbour’s roof and dangle a fish on a bit of string in front of his windows. He’ll think his house is underwater.

Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

Buy a television set exactly like your neighbours. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control.

MOTORISTS. Pressing your ‘fog lights’ switch a second time after the fog has cleared will actually turn your fog lights off.

Cheer loudly at 8.00pm each Saturday to fool the neighbours into thinking you have won the Lottery.

Girls. Next time you feel like throwing a ball over-arm, don’t, because you can’t and it just looks silly. Just throw it girlie under-arm style, and no-one will laugh at you, or get hurt.

Don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously ‘erased’.

Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,

Don’t waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.

Pass yourself off as Welsh by putting coal dust behind your fingernails and talking gibberish all the time, stopping occasionally to sing loudly, or set fire to someone else’s house.

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes’ eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic. - D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead

When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions in case a large blue furniture removal lorry is reversing the wrong way up the road. - D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead General Infirmary

Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.

A next door neighbour’s car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.

Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.

Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of air over any that you catch in the act.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator. Sister S., Berwick

Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you’ve taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower. - B. Johnson, Canada

Sweetcorn fans. Save money on loo paper by simply pouring the stuff straight down the pan.

Pretend you`re a giant panda by giving yourself two black eyes, eating only bamboo shoots and refusing to have sex with the missus.

Manchester United fans. Save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake penis to your forehead. It is now clear to all, as to your allegiance.

Manchester United fans. Avoid an asymetrical bulge in your right arm by masturbating furiously with your left arm too.

Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Weedy fellas. Develop a right forearm like Arnold Schwarzeneggar by buying one of those Cindy Crawford workout videos.

Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one.

Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they`re always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc `tastes exactly like the real thing`, they won`t know any difference.

Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you`d no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.

Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.

Drivers. Pressing the headlight switch for a second time dips the buggers.

HGV drivers. When climbing a long hill at 20 mph, the lane to drive in is the LEFT fucking one.

FOOL other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the kerb.

DRILL a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

BOMB disposal experts’ wives. Keep hubby on his toes by packing his lunchbox with plasticine and an old alarm clock.

SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner’s hat.

AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to ‘fast wipe’ whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

DON’T INVITE DRUG ADDICTS round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don’t know.

WHEN reading a book try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.

A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity.

BUS DRIVERS. Pretend you’re an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.

SAVE petrol by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you’ve broken down and help.

LOSE weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning/diarrhea enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.

WHEN throwing someone a sharp instrument such as a Stanley knife, or bread knife, always throw it blade first as they invariably tend to turn whilst in the air.

AVOID being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the boot until you return.

SMELL gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.

TAXI drivers. Why not pop into the garage and ask them to fix your indicators lights for you so that other motorists know where the heck you’re going.

PENSIONERS. Try sitting on a pile of encyclopedias next time you go for a drive in your car. That way you will be able to see out of the front window.

OLD contact lenses make ideal ‘portholes’ for small model boats.

INCREASE the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.

TAKE your dustbin to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

MAKE shopkeepers feel like criminals and con men by carefully checking their change and holding bank notes up to the light before accepting them.

SAVE on charity donations by spending a pound on clothes at a charity shop, then selling them for 50p to another charity shop. This way you can give twice as much, at half the cost. I think.

NO TIME for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

EXPENSIVE hair gels are a con. Marmalade is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.

APPLY red nail varnish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting varnish should be selected).

PUTTING just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes’ eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the fucking thing in the first place, you fat bastards.

Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly. This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.

Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue, and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.

Give up smoking by sticking one cigarette from each new pack up a fat friend’s arse, filter first, then replacing it in the box. The possibility of putting that one in your mouth will put you off smoking any of them.

Pretend to be Welsh by putting coal dust behind your ears, talking gibberish and singing all the time.

If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.

Make people think you have an expensive car phone by calling them, asking them to repeat everything they say and then hanging up half way through their reply.

Don’t invite drug addicts round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

Make bathtimes as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.

Make guests believe your home might be bugged by running your hands under tables and inside lampshades, then turning the shower on every time you want to speak.

Increase blind people’s electricity bills by switching all their lights on when their guide dog isn’t looking.

Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

Make your girlfriend cry when you’re having sex by phoning her up and telling her.

Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a sand pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

Bus drivers. Pretend you’re an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.

International master criminals. Tell your guards to shoot James Bond in the head at the first opportunity. Under no circumstances give him a guided tour of your base, or leave him in the custody of attractive women in bikinis.

KING-sized Mars bars make ideal normal-sized Mars bars, for giants. NORMAL-sized Mars bars make ideal king-sized Mars bars for dwarfs, as well as fun-sized ones for giants.

FUN-sized Mars Bars make ideal normal sized Mars Bars for midgets.

PEOPLE whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty ‘Toblerone’ chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job.

The convo went a little something like this…

Lee: Chavs tend to be the young lads, with Hoodies on, tracky bottoms tucked into their socks, fake jewellery that has been bought from Argos, getting our of a Subaru with their caps on crooked or back to front.

Geoffrey: Like Craig you mean??

Cue me and Lee laughing quite hard

Anyway seems there are one or two different ideas as to where it originated.

1. Foreign language - A possible etymology for “chav” is that it derives from the Romani word “chavi”, meaning a child.^[4] Related words derived from the same source include “charva” meaning prostitute (used in north-east England in a similar sense). In modern Spanish “chaval”, “chavo” or “chavón” means “lad” (eg: El Chavo, a Mexican television comedy whose principal character is a street orphan).^[5] The term “chavvy”, for child or young person, is known to have migrated from Romani into the local dialects of Dorset, Somerset and Wiltshire in the post-war years, coming into common usage in the late 1940s
2. It has been suggested that pupils at Cheltenham Ladies’ College and Cheltenham College used the word to describe the younger men of the town (”Cheltenham Average”)
3. Many folk etymologies have sprung up around the word. These include backronyms such as “Council Housed And Violent” and “Council House Adult Vermin”

SOURCE

1. Unloading a shit load of Velcro off a lorry, including comedy moments which I’ll divulge on later
2. Taking a load of wma files and converting them into mp3 files and in turn burning a cd for Mark

Anyway not been upto a great deal outside work.  Last 2 nights I’ve been in bed watching a DVD at 9pm, and last night I was asleep at half 9 :oops:  altho the more sleep I tend to get at the minute, the worse I feel the following day How random.

Anyway work yesterday was quite comedy to be fair.  Had a delivery of a few pallets worth of Velcro.  There were a few Suit rails on the lorry, and after being knocked a few times you can imagine what happened! Luckily I managed to catch it as it was falling, and even more luckily for Lee, he ended up with a load of suits on his head.  Poor old Roger on the other hand, ended up with the framework twatting him on the swede Another nore in the accident book for him, after slicing his arm open only last week! (Picture of something like what hit him below)

After that Mark came up, and mentioned that a CD I’d done for him using all his music he’d aquired through Itunes, worked in most of his fleet of vehicles, but not in his new Landrover :?  So i copied the files, and then re-burnt the CD, and it worked in my car.  Anyway after a few moments, we realised that the songs were saved as wma files, so I then acquired a version of Itunes, and proceeded to turn them into MP3’s to then in turn copy straight from Itunes into my CD burning software! Slowed my computer right down I can tell you :lol:  Other than that It has been pretty quiet.  Me and Lee have been ripping the piss all week, and I sent Maddsy a nice picture of my David Boots Sausage Roll, to which I got a reply saying “You wanker”

My mum rang me last night, to ask if any women had contacted me via the group on facebook Bagi had started, nothing ever gets past her! Our Lewi would have been straight on the phone to her or something.

I am in a current state of depression, having lost the last 2 games of scrable to Kirsty Taylor of all people!! (only joking )

I first saw a Lego Imperial Star Destroyer at the Power House Museum during the Star Wars Magic of Myth exhibition.

Of course I immediately wanted one.

But it would take nearly two years before the dream became a reality. After much drooling over sets that went on ebay, I finally took the plunge on a buy-it-now set. I then waited the two full months for the surface mail package to arrive.

And what a package it was. According to the packing slip, 21 pounds worth of lego and cardboard. Out of the external packing box, I weighed it on an old bathroom scale, and it came to about 18 pounds.

LINK

It looks facking huuuuge!!!

Anyway enough about that little scrotum and his mates (love you really Bagi - in a non gay way)!  We’re in the process of sorting a night out round Lincoln for the next Bank Holiday sunday, and I thought as Newark is in the middle of the two, that I’d invite my mate Emzi and a few of her mates out with us.  The more the merrier and all that :D  Had a nice chat with Em, and Fee came online, and asked how things were, so I had a bit of a rant, which she said “Wasn’t like me” :lol:  Still it’s good to talk.

After engineering an escape from the hellish Panamanian prison Sona, brothers Michael Scofield and Lincoln Burrows are determined to seek justice against The Company, the shadowy group responsible for destroying their lives and killing the woman Michael loves, Dr. Sara Tancredi. During their quest for vengeance, Michael’s world is turned upside down when he learns that Sara is still alive. Realizing the only way they will truly be free, Michael and Lincoln avenge to find Sara and take down The Company. With the help of a government handler, they assemble a group of allies and familiar faces including Mahone, Sucre and Bellick to aid in their seemingly impossible task. Unfortunately for the brothers, they must also enlist T-Bag, who unknowingly possesses a vital clue to help them pull off their most difficult challenge yet. They’ll soon discover the only thing harder than breaking out is breaking in.

Read more HERE

Me taking a photo of… (think you get the picture)….   Me taking a photo of something interesting

Mason finding something to photograph… I’ve seen better days!!

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Kirsty looking lovely…  Kirsty and Simon (who dont half scrub up to well when needed!!)

On to other things now :lol:  Almost went crazy yesterday morning, with someone who kept appearing on my shoulder like Long John Silvers Parrot - Captain Flint - Going “You rung Craig yet” “Has he rung you back yet” HE’S ON HOLIDAY!! HE’LL RING ME BACK WHEN HE WANTS TO!!!  Anyway he did ring me back last night, and we had a joke and chat about how my holiday was 30 degrees and nothing but sun, and his so far has been pretty much rain (albeit only on the first day).  Also I’ve gotta put something bout an Adults Only School Disco at the Grosvenor Rooms or something!  Also spoke to Mr Baguley who it appears may not be training tonight after all, as he’s at a funeral, and dont know if he’d be back in time or not

hoping to hear some good news coming out of St. James’ Park anytime soon regarding some new signings or something.  All this talk of Mike Ashley wanting to sell the club seems to have alot of supporters on the edge.  Specially when it was rumoured that relatives of Osama Bin Laden were interested in buying the club! Suppose it could come in handy… 6-0 down at Old Trafford… give the sign, then terrorist attack on Man United *joking! Obviously as it’d wipe our own team out too*  Be interested also to see the clubs stance on Joey Barton.  Thought once Keegan had settled in, and got the team playing how he wanted, Joey turned out to be a decent player.  Lets hope if we keep him, he can keep his nose clean this time, as I feel it’ll be his last chance, and start turning in some cracking performances.

Found out that Newcastle are going down to Hartlepool on the 19th July for a pre-season friendly, which just so happens to be round the corner or something from Whitley Bay, which is where I’ll be for the night out for Sweeney’s birthday WHOOOOOOOO!! Might try and go along to that game haha!

More worryingly last night, I was sat on the internet, and got a sudden taste of blood in my mouth I have no idea what I’d done but headed up to the bathroom, and spat a load of blood out into the sink! Took a good 2/3 minutes before I’d cleared my mouth of any blood, via drinking some water, but it kinda freaked me out to hell

So it’s pretty fair to say I’ve not done a great deal this week at all :lol:  Monday I was too damn tired to go to the gym, but Tuesday I managed it, and we had a quick session on the back, and was home by 7. which felt quite odd.  Wednesday was a shoulders day, and had a great session, and got chatting to this lad in the gym, who I’d mentioned I was looking at selling the car.  He asked if my Red Recaro’s would drop straight into his Civic Type R, but I didnt have a clue, imagine so tho.  Once we left the gym, I realised what a TWAT I’d been!! It had gotten quite dark on the way over to the gym, so I put my lights on.  As you can imagine I’d left them on, and the battery was bloody flat GRRRR!!  Anyway luckily John and two others were walking out, so they gave me a bump start Meanwhile Scotty was looking at both my front and rear strut braces, wondering wether they too would fit on his Civic.

Didndt go to the gym for the rest of the week, as John was doing stuff with Caz before he fucked off to Malia on Friday, which means this week unless it’s raining, I’m gonna try not to use to car for much, apart from going training tuesday night with Bagi and some old mates from Kirkby for a bit of a run about.

On to this weekend.  Friday night I got home, and got changed ready to go to football.  As last week, there was no-one else about, so we decided to use 3/4’s of the pitch.  Lee Westwood turned up, and it’s always fucking good to score past him, and I managed to put 2 pretty good goals into the back of the onion bag, and was bloody unlucky after a lovely chest down, turn and volley that he just managed to tip over :lol:  Even Phil scored from pretty much the half way line, which highlights what an evening Lee must have been having

Got up sunday to a phone call from my mum explaining one or two things, and then went over to the hairdressers. Not overly impressed that  I got the new sytle Claire promised last time, but hey ho We’ll see next time I go.  Still felt a hell of a lot better to have shorter hair again, as it was growing a little thick and wild :oops:  After that I went over to Maddsy and Stevie’s to install a program on the computer, and showed Stevie how to use it, and then made my way home to have a lazy day for the rest of the saturday.

Got up Sunday bout half 11, and then spent most of the day chilling out and watching DVD’s, untill the start of the British Grand Prix.  It was so funny watching the drivers skating round the Silverstone track, and Filipe Massa spinning FIVE times.  Somehow the rest of the field fell back, and allowed Lewis Hamilton to win by more than a minute! Very sporting of you guys HAHAHA!!  After that I decided to go and have a bath.  Only problem was, I then had about 3 more hours to kill before going to the pub to meet Phil, Helen and Fee :lol:  Got to the pub slightly early, and was good to see that helen DIDN’T faint like she claimed she would if I turned up :lol:  Said hello to Vicky as I walked past, and then plonked myself down on the table.  They had something to eat, and we just ended up chatting, and coming up with stupid names to call Helen and Phils Daugther.  For some reason Violet seems a popular one, but Helen has her heart set on Summer at the moment! Whats wrong with the proper names.. HILDA, or AGNES :lol:  We TRIED To do the quiz, but there was no chance of that, due to the fact the Landlady was doing some sort of speed round, whilst on speed or something! She must have done the quiz, and repeated all the questions in about 10 minutes, so after 3 questions we gave up, and continued the what to call the baby chat.  Tibbzy joined us, and had a chat with him about this and that.  Fee claimed that Wayniac has abandonned her, after being friends years ago, so I text him, and before I knew it they were ripping the piss out of each other down the phone.  Out next week tho son ;)  Left not long after 10, and found myself chatting to Kay again.  Hoping she gets the job, then I finally get to meet her, after about 4 years worth of Msn chats

Never before has a truer word been spoken than the following quote from football365.com’s forum again….

As a lady said earlier on here, women have lots of hormone fluctuations due to having periods (ie they are defective), so you are in effect dealing with faulty equipment from the off… so dont try to even start to try and win

And here is a nice picture message that my mother sent over to me this weekend

Our Owen wearing possibly the greatest club shirt in the world

I’ve Never Met A Nice South African!!

The Chicken Song!!

Star-Trekking!!

Holidaymaker gives ‘bill shock’ a new meaning by downloading TV show using mobile phone.

A Yes Telecom customer has been sent a £31,000 mobile phone bill after using his handset as a laptop modem to download an episode of Prison Break while on holiday in Portugal.

Iayn Dobsyn, an IT contractor from the UK, realised that using data while roaming carried a cost but expected the bill to be more like £150.

He said: “I knew i used a lot of data while abroad but not to the tune of £31,000. The figures didn’t make sense.”

Yes Telecom has agreed to reduce the charge to a more manageable £229 and has advised customers to check the small print on their contracts before travelling abroad