Wiggy’s World

So the blog has been offline for a few days, and is now back and ready for more So sit back with a fresh brew, cos this is a long one!!!
Had quite an interesting few days tbh.

Thursday at work was quiet and I quietly went about my work as I had done for the earlier half of the week. Got home from work, went on Virtual Tennis 3 for half an hour, and then started to get ready to hit the town with Bagi, Moorey and Butler. Met them in the Swan at just gone half 8, and from there things started to get a bit messy We did a few pubs, and then got into Wetherspoons, where I got myself a Jagermeister and Red Bull, whilst Bagi got a Corona. Once he saw what I’d got he started dribbling at the mouth, and ordered himself one and another Corona, and let me have the extra one! He’s a really nice man, that “all seeing, all knowing eye” that is Bagi Nipped into Marthas, then Flanigans. Were gonna go upstairs, but the queue was massive, so we got a drink from the downstairs bar, necked them, and then buggered off to Liquid, for free admission. There were about 4 people in (not including ourselves or the bar staff) so we made good use of the buy 1 get one free offer on VK drinks, did a few swings on the “Chavometer” and then made our way to QI. Moorey did his best Cinderella impression, and made his way home, before his ride home turned into a pumpkin or something stupid like that Me, Bagi and Butler ripped up the dance-floor in QI, and we were loving it! Got home bout half 1ish I think, after drunk texting John asking who was out on saturday night for his birthday

Woke up friday morning, with the mother of all hang-overs, and managed to get to work just before 9 Altho it was defo a struggle. Had to put up with Mr Cadden’s constant coughing and stuff, as he was suffering from a bloody cold, and made everyone and his dog aware of it. Was a pretty slow day, specially as Mark was up in Northumberland way on a demo with Maddsy, so spent much of the day lounging around in my chair, or walking about, trying to eat food to settle my stomach, which was like a felt like the inside of a bloody washing machine Geoffrey cleared off bout 2ish, so I did some research into Meningitis and the effects it leaves, and deafness in children is one of them. Maybe I’ve gotten lucky with it being in one ear. That then lead onto me doing research into Tinnitus. At times it drives me bloody crazy, and maybe thats one of the reasons why I seem to enjoy sitting at work listening to the constant coughing of the old one in the corner, cos when it’s deadly silent all I can hear is a high pitched scream

Got home, and decided that I didnt feel upto going to the pub, or even playing football, so text Phil and cancelled on him. Fee had tried to ring me, and also text me to make sure I knew my blog wasn’t working, so called her back, and had a bit of a chat about stuff, and then settled down with some tea, and Stephen King’s The Stand. Watched it years ago, and wanted to get it on DVD for a while, so when I went on play.com and saw they had it for about £3, I decided to buy it. Only problem is it’s in 4 parts and each part is about 1 1/2 hours long So wasn’t long before I was tired/bored and headed for bed.

Got up Saturday morning, and chilled on the xbox for a bit, before deciding to head over to my mothers to watch the stags game. What a fucking surprise that was! It was a completely different side that took to the pitch than the one I witnessed the week before against Darlington. this was a side trying to play football And in a way, they succeeded. The week before I was quite gutted to have thrown best part of £20 into their coffers, with a display of football, that I doubt would have suited our shit little pitch on Healswood on a Sunday morning Quite gutted that they couldnt find a goal, and atleast get the replay against the Smoggies that they deserved, especially in the 2nd half, but never mind. Highlight of the game was Robert Huth’s Kung-Fu kick on Micky Boulding, and also the “Haslam Out” Footballs being kicked over the Bishop Street stand Nothing like a bit of comedy every now and again.

Match Report - Arsenal 3 - 0 Newcastle

“Eeeeeee, London”, Sid the Sexist’s mother once proclaimed. Sadly, we weren’t on a London weekend watching Cilla Black hoy random singletons together similar to how Jesus Christ (nee middle name) hoyed hot cross buns on to his mate Noah’s Ark (plenty of animals but nee Pepperami). We were unfortunately handed a trip to The Emirates in the 4th round of the F.A Cup and although United were playing, I did not see many Arabs, or camels for that matter.

The messiah, who turns water in to Stella merely by smiling at it, could not have picked a harder away match to start his 3rd crusade as the black and white king. Smith and Butt returned from suspensions and took their places in the starting XI in their proper natural positions and let’s be honest, Albert Einstein showed that no rockets are needed in science. Umbrellas are effective up top and so is Alan Smith; if it was raining cats and penguins, you would not roam the streets with an umbrella protecting your mid-rift, you’d have it in its best position and that would be above your bonce protecting your finely groomed mullet from those nasty drops of water. Smith is not a midfielder, he is a niggley centre forward who gets up the arses (not literally) of opposing centre halves.

We shaded the 1st half and were unlucky not to go in to the break ahead. Clichy headed Smith’s half volley off the line and then Owen failed to connect just 6 yards out after some superlative intricate flowing football between Milner, Smith and Carr. Shay kept out long range efforts from Clichy, Eduardo and Diaby on the day when he reached 4th place on our highest number of appearances blackboard. Taylor missed a Birdseye potato fritter right on half time when he headed over when the mad Jorman fruit-loop with the wacky perm was caught all at sea. If he had of headed across goal rather than straight at goal it would have looped in but of course if your Aunty had balls then she would be, erm, weird.

Arsenal showed why they are the finest team in the land in the 2nd half by banging 3 past us and it could quiet easily have been double that. They were sublime and some of their football was out of the top drawer- nee socks or undercrackers were anywhere to be seen. Their opening goal was slightly misfortunate, although 3 of our defenders failed to clear Eduardo’s shot which rebounded off the post and Adebayor calmly drilled it past Shay to put them ahead. The same man, who was named after those erotic movies which contain scenes that would puncture the tyres of a small child’s bikes, then doubled their advantage after he waltzed through our defence with the swagger of a man who has just hoyed his cement up all 5 members of Girls Aloud (Ha ha – Ashley Cole – mug, if true! Cheryl – if you ever fancy a tour of Hebburn then give me a shout pet) and fired past Shay and Taylor who tried to clear off the line. We had a shout, well, it was more of a groaning whisper, for a Penalty when Senderos appeared to caress the ball with his left arm but nothing was given and then Butt headed Fabregas’ free kick in to his own onion bag to seal their victory in the last minute.

We played some good stuff in the 1st half but let’s be honest, Arsenal are currently on a different football planet to us. The bus going down and the away end was full of loved up NUFC troopers who are head over heels in love with King Kev, again. The perm might have gone but the feel good factor is back and his football philosophy has not changed. Get the pig’s bladder on the floor, to feet and move on. It’s called a football field for a reason and the only time a high ball is required is when a seagull (which follows ze trawlor) drops its white liquid near you and you attempt to get revenge by hoofing its beak off.

Winning trophies is not what we’re about! Keep the faith. LINK

Watched the first half of Soccer Saturday round at my mum and dads, and then gave them a lift into Mansfield. Tried to get round the circuit, but the coppers had blocked it all off, and according to one or two people i’ve spoken to, there was a bit of trouble between the Stags fans and the Smoggies outside JJB, and possibly around town. I wasn’t too bothered about going down town sat night, but “The all seeing, all knowing eye” rang me, and after a bit of a chat I was really looking forward to it. Started getting ready, and John asked if I didnt mind picking him and Day up bout 7:30, and then we’d meet the others in the top spoons after that. After chilling out for a bit, I got ready and then headed over to Annesley to pick him up.

Met up with Bagi once we walked into spoons, and he got me a coke, and we went and joined John, Day, Will and Pete. Had heard about Pete before but never actually met him, and he is a leg-end He had me in stitches with some of the stuff he comes out with. Bagi went over to the cash machine, and then disappeared for the night, not to be seen again till about 10am Sunday morning From spoons we went down to 53, and bumped into Mini-Bean and Ratus, who was celebrating his birthday that day. After a few drinks in 53, Pete went off to work in Liquid, and we nipped into Romans, then Cheekys, then looking at the queue for Flanigans, decided to give it a miss, and headed into Liquid. The drinks kept flowing in there, including 2 bottles of champagne (a.k.a. the cheap vinegar crap they sell in there) which were given to Will, and muchos dancing and walking around. It was a great night, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself

Once we’d left Liquid we all decided to grab some food, so headed into Binchy’s for some chips. John got a bit abusive towards the woman behind the till, telling us that she always seems to short change him and shit, and she said something bout “Dont try and be funny” So Johns reply was “I aint being funny…. I’m being factual thank you very much” The women didnt know wether to throw something at him or what! She had to ask me about 5 times what I wanted, cos John had wound her up that much! It got funnier once we walked outside. Heading upto the car, and this drunken youth thought it’d be funny to run up to day, and knock his chips flying. As you can imagine, chips and gravy went everywhere, including all down John and Day!!! It’s safe to say that in all the years I’ve known John, I’ve never seen him get riled by anyone. He always seems so cool, calm and collective, but all the way home he was on about if he wasn’t as drunk as he was he’d have chased the punk and smashed his face in Dropped Will off, and he gave me £2.50 for the lift, and all the way to Johns house, John was adamant MacDonalds was open, cos he wanted a Big Mac meal. Got home, and felt really dizzy due to the excessive amounts of Rola Cola I’d consumed throughout the night And managed to get to sleep at about half 3ish

John and Will checking out a photo… Day taking a photo… Pete putting on Eye Liner

 

Got up Sunday, and nipped to Maddsy’s before football, and the kids seemed excited that they were going Ice-Skating, so I warned them about the dangers of whales and penguins under the ice, trying to get them, but they were having non of it hehehe! Got to football, and started to sort the nets out, and Brad came upto me to ask if my head would be on the game, to which I replied “yeah of course” The game itself was a bit of a dissapointment on our behalf. They pretty much bossed the game from start to finish, and Micky Clarke and his strike partner had me and Rob chasing after shadows trying to mark them! Not helping the fact was an ill Bagi between the sticks, who couldn’t walk After a bit he tried to push off to take a goal-kick, and he found his leg was just giving way from under him. I gave away a dodgy free-kick in the first half, and their striker curled it round the wall, and one of their lads put it in, cos Rob and Gregg were IN the six-yard box when Bagi and myself had shouted 3 or 4 times to get out. I tried to jump for a header, but got tangled with their strikers legs, and the ref claimed I pushed him in the back, and even tho they scored again, the ref wasn’t ready and made them take it again. 2nd Half and Bagi went off injured and on came Evs in net. From then on our heads had gone, and I should have walked for what can only be described as a rugby tackle on Micky Clarke. He’d knocked the ball past me, as I slid in to win the ball, then saw he was about to land on me, so basically grabbed his leg and hauled him down. VERY lucky to stay on the pitch according to the ref, even tho all their team were baying for a Red card So my disciplinary record during my whole career is still unblemished hahaha!!! During that incident, I caught a stud on the hand, and also got stud marks on my arm, and leg, but my hand seemed to be pissing out blood for a while, and as much as i tried to resist, I ended up wiping it all over the white shirt Felt like I’d possibly fractured or broken a bone in my hand/wrist all afternoon/evening, but then the pain subsided, as did the swelling luckily enough.
After the game I nipped over to the Lurcher for a quick drink with Micky and Dave Sherratt, and then went round to my mum and dads for some dinner, and watch the Man Utd game, altho they decided to go for a family outing with our Hev to ASDA to get the car washed haha, so I came back home to watch the 2nd half, and tidy the house up a bit for lter that night. Called into the local shop, and the bloke behind the till told me he was an Arsenal fan, after seeing I had my Newcastle tracky bottoms on, and started laughing that they beat us 3-0 in the FA Cup… like I gave a damn Had interesting conversations with both Maddsy and Bagi about our recent feelings towards the team, and it’s interesting to know How they come across some of these ratings is beyond me! Giving me a 5 last time out, and giving one of our better midfielders yesterday a 5, yet one of them a 9 is a bit crazy, also not too sure why they took Maddsy off, but I dont wanna go and massage his ego by saying he played well

Lee came round, and we nipped out to LSOM for 10 minutes, just to see one to two folk, and then made our way back to mine, via Bargain Booze for some beers, and batteries or the XBOX controllers, and then decided to have a few co-op missions on Ghost Recon 2, before nipping for some Chinese, and then going on Call of Duty 4 online till The Royal Rumble started Somehow I felt my body slowly shutting down, and kept finding my eyes shut till the crowd started counting down from 10 seconds before the next wrestler came in Was a good rumble, and great to see John Cena back, and even a little cameo from Hornswoggle hehehe! Monday morning was spent on the xbox again playing on Call of Duty 4 online for a bit, and then I went to work bout half 12. I did wonder what Lee meant, when he said he was gonna park in front of my house! Little did I think that he meant actually on the gravel in my garden Was quite funny watching him pack up, specially as his rear passenger tyre ended up at least a foot up in the air
Today is Johns birthday, so sent him a text wishing him happy birthday, and wondering what time we were going to the gym, and if he got the gravy out of his t-shirt Left work, and nipped home to change my t-shirt and the headed over to the gym. I love being the designated driver at times, cos it gives me a great feeling being part of peoples memory banks! Specially when they were as drunk as John and them were on saturday night We had a laugh whilst at the gym, and after having a conversation with Lee Westwood last night, decided to invite a few mates for a meal at springwater for my birthday, then those who want to can come into town, and meet anyone else that is out, and Caz seemed to be up for it, inbetween telling me that I need a female influence back in my life, cos I had straw in my hair! I’ve never been so insulted haha! Well maybe I have but this ranks pretty high! How dare she call me a chav! She’d obviously lost her senses, and forgotten who she was talking to Now i’m sat chatting to Becca on facebook, whilst watching Rocky 2 hehe! How many times can someone watch a film, and STILL not get bored