Wiggy's World

Well as everyone in the UK at least is getting acquainted with the new Call of Duty game, I’ve already had the pleasure thanks to CarolAnne who pre-ordered it for me, and I some how ended up with it being posted through my door on FRIDAY! A whole 4 days before it was due to hit the shelves As you can imagine I’ve completed the story-line in the regular mode and so am taking my time to go through the Special Ops and earn some more achievement points, before taking my good fight online.  Also the fact my XBOX live account has been suspended cos the card I used has since expired and they only allow Credit Cards, of which I have rid myself of mine (whilst still paying them off )  Trip into Mansfield to buy 3 months XBOX Live redeem points I think.

OH MY GOD is something that was said a few times last night when watching the latest episode of Flashforward.  It’s taking a few twists, and I think you really need to watch it closely or you end up missing something!  I’m almost as hooked on this right now as I was on Prison Break, when I was counting the days till the next episode

I was just messing about at home Saturday afternoon, and my phone starts ringing.  Check the screen and it was our Lew, saying that my nephew Owen wanted to speak with me.  Asked him how his birthday was, and what Mama and Grandad had brought him and things, and then he asked that awful question.  “Where’s my present Mikey? Have you brought me anything” My heart sunk, and I suddenly felt really bad.  I’d just not really had chance to get to “The Green Shop” Which translates to the Early Learning Centre, to get him another Train for his train set, let alone the money for it   Told him that Mikey would get him a present soon, and asked which train he wanted.  Seems since I last watched a Thomas Episode he’s gone mad on Facebook or some other Social Networking site, as he has about 500 friends Before it was just him, James and a few others.  Seems the Fat controller now has a mate too

Had a hire job on this weekend, and it meant getting up at 5am and heading over to Beeston.  Having seen a text off Maddsy asking if I was awake, I thought it’d be fun to ignore his phone calls.  after 10 missed calls I decided to give in and answered, to a “Why the fuck don’t you answer your phone… Where the fuck are you” To which I said over half-way there haha!  We were done by half 8 so I called into my mums for some Bacon cobs and headed home for a few hours on Call of Duty again.  Ended up nipping to Marks to help him for half an hour and then back home where I sat in a vegetative state on the sofa.  Having no football this weekend helped, and I was able to sleep through till about 11 which is unlike me Watched some episodes from Spooks season 1, before heading over to my mums for dinner.  Our Owen was hyper before he left as we all had some of his Thomas cake, and it appears the blue colouring of something sends him super hyper.  Oh well we thought, he’ll be at his mums soon How evil is that.  Watched the Heavy-Weight boxing clash between Valuev and Haye, and it was one of the most boring fights I’d seen, altho I’ll admit that Haye boxed clever making the Russian throw and miss more times than he hit.  Turns out Haye won with a broken hand suffered as early as the second or third round, from hitting the russians breeze block like head.

Those of you who have been reading this for a year or two, will remember my habit for slightly editing the match report written by Brad, but it appears I have no need to with the Cockle match-report, as Dave writes them quite comically

Upon arrival at the Clipstone pitch it was evident that the outcome of this game would be decided by who could cope better with the gale that was blowing down the pitch.

The Cockle were missing Luca Toni in defence due to modelling commitments which meant Beavis had to step into the centre of defence partnering the ever present Fester.

With injuries and illness stripping the Cockle side for yet another weekend, Ali G dropped back into left back and the Monk was given the left wing. Sloth was back partnering The Fonz up front and Crouchy was dropped to the bench.

Clipstone won the toss and surprisingly choose to have the wind advantage in the first half.

The Cockle knew the first half would be played mostly on the back foot with Harry’s kicks barely reaching the edge of his own area. (Bearing in mind, this is usually the case in normal conditions), However The Cockle dealt with this well and at times played some good football to feet to get out of the constant pressure Clipstone were putting them under.

Clipstone however got the first following some poor defending from the Cockle. The ball eventually bouncing to the winger who calmly lobbed the ball over the advancing Enfield and into the back of the net.

Shortly after, the Cockle defence were left for dead with a ball over the top and the forward raced forward and finished well to make it 2-0.

The Cockle heads however didn’t go down and they were unfortunate to concede a third from the penalty spot after a mix up between Ali and Fester meant Fester had to hack down the forward who calmly placed the ball on the spot and powered it into the back of the net.

Cockle barely had an attempt on goal in the first half. Sloth’s header from a magical cross from Weasley was easily saved, and Hitler’s shot from just outside the area barely reached the six yard box, so at half time the Cockle went in as last week, being 3 – 0 down.

It was then the turn of the Cockle to have the wind, however they were slow out the starting blocks. Clipstone ripped the Cockle defence apart and the forward slid in at the back post with an open net and somehow managed to put the ball wide.

With this kick up the backside, Crouch was bought on to replace the Monk, and Ali was bought into midfield to play with three at the back.

The gamble paid off midway though the first half when a Hulk long throw caused chaos in the Clipstone box. Crouch went in a challenge with the keeper and found the ball bounce off the back of his head and into the net.

Clipstone seemed to collapse after this and the Cockle gained the belief needed that they could get all three points from this game.

In the next attack, another Hulk throw bounced over everyone, hit the cross bar and The Fonz was quickest to react at the back post heading the ball home from a couple of yards out.

The Fonz got his second of the game shortly after following a corner, which cause a scramble in the box, both Beavis, and Crouchy’s attempts being blocked before Fonzy saw a gap at the far corner and as cool as a cucumber slotted the ball home.

Handbags then started between Sloth and the Clipstone captain who were arguing about everything from age and playing ability to what the best and most cuddly carebear was.

It was Sloth however who had the last laugh, following an Ali G corner, he found himself at the right spot to bundle the ball home taking at least three defenders with him into the back of the net.

The Cockle were unlucky not to go ahead further towards the end of the game with Sloth narrowly firing over with a scissor kick following yet another Hulk throw. (He must have eaten at least 4 weetabix this morning).

Full time 3 – 4 to the Cockle.

Man of the match today was quite easily the wind who played an important part in all but one of the goals.

Well done lads – a cracking comeback and back to winning ways. Unfortunately we will need a miracle for this to continue next week following the Gaffers stag do Saturday night. Don’t forget – A 5pm start at the Cockle Saturday with the buses booked for approx 6.30. Fancy dress required!

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That was our 4-3 wind assisted win against Clipstone FC and this one was from the night after the gaffers stag do…

T’was the morning after the night before……….

All but one of the Cockle players today were out on the gaffers stag do last night which involved a comical trip through Rotherham on the way home due to the M1 being shut southbound! Captain America was not impressed!

All turned up (in body at least) on the rather damp Sunday morning for which the referee had inspected the pitch and given the game the go ahead.

The Pimp was starting out in net whilst Bananaman was back in his usual leftback position, Morph1 and Batman took there central positions and Jim was given a run out at right back. Superman was moved up into right mid, Morph2 and Captain America took central mid, and GI Jane (Sorry – Action man) was on the left wing. Morph3 and the Monkey were the attack for the day.

Given that most of the Cockle lads were still asleep when the match kicked off – they dominated the majority of the first half, aided by the wind, but squandered chance after chance over the bar / or fired wide.

It was The Red however who took the lead against the run of play. Some good work down their right saw there number 10 skip past Bananaman (who will be now known as Eric as I think the monkey must have eaten all his Banana’s in the changing rooms before kick off), ride a challenge from morph1 and then checked back past Eric again before firing past the Pimp in net.

Half time. 0 – 1

The Cockle started the second half still asleep from their half times quick nap, and the Red doubled the lead with a cracking team effort, swinging the ball from right to left, and smashing the ball into the net.

Rather then letting heads go down though, the Cockle responded and almost immediately, Monkey saw his volley being tipped round the post in a quality save from The Red keeper. Soon after however, the pressure was rewarded when Ryan morph was hacked down in the box. He got up, re-adjusted his plastercine body back into shape and calmly placed the ball past the diving keeper.

This could have sent the game into a mad frenzy with the cockle pushing for an equalizer, however in the next Red attack, there forward broke free, and Eric lunged in and took the strikers legs resulting in an opposition penalty to which they restored their 2 goal advantage.

The Cockle kept pressing, and after a through ball from Captain America, Superman flew past the defender, dazzled the keeper with his eye lasers, and rounded him to finish into the open net. A quality run and finish that any super hero would be proud of.

It wasn’t to be the Cockle’s day though with the final whistle blowing soon after. Credit must be given for the turn out and effort for every player after last night, and we looked forward to the return game, when everyone should hopefully be at full fitness and not hung over. (Morph Scott is obviously excluded from this as he appears to be hung over every week – and STILL manages to put in a MOM performance).

Hannibal Lector would like to thank you all for coming last night and the effort made in all the costumes, and making it a quality night!

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