Wiggy's World

I’ve never been a fan of these mid-season breaks which seem popular in American TV Shows! I’d much rather watch the whole season the whole way through, as my memory just aint what it used to be when I was younger, so now I’m gonna have to get the first half of the season of Flashforward ready for when ever they decide to show the 2nd half of the season.  More than likely Jan or Feb if Lost was anything to go by. It was the same with Prison Break too.  Thats one of the main reasons I lost interest in Lost, that and the fact it really spun me out, with polar bears in the middle of the jungle

What was gonna be a busyish weekend turned into a drab relaxed one.  Was due to head out into Notts, but in a way I was gladBagi didn’t get in touch, as it saves me a bit of money for Xmas, and Sunday night I was due to take John and Carolyn to Watsi’s wedding, but with John being bed-ridden with what sounds like what I had a few weeks ago, I decided to stay in.  I was whacked after playing football on a pitch where sometimes the ball would zip off the puddles that had gathered and other times it’d stick in the puddle, and you’d carry on running thinking “What the hell”  It was great for attempting slide tackles, and it’s safe to say after a 10m slide tackle (I just seemed to keep going and going) I was wet through, and wearing a white kit wasn’t the best of ideas

Another win for the Toon, and 2 rare headed goals from MARLON! Still don’t rate him as much as Nile Ranger, and the sooner Nile gets his first goal the better.  Altho if Marlon does go on a run I won’t hold it against him as long as we keep winning and keep clean sheets.  5 wins from 5 and another clean sheet in the process moved us 8 points clear of Leicester in 3rd and keeps us 2 points above West Brom.  I’d feel more confident if West Brom started dropping a few points   So the draw for the 3rd round of the FA CUP was made yesterday.  The one day every team stops what they’re doing and focuses on the TV screen, and the lower league teams hoping for that magical away trip to Old Trafford.  Luckily we’ve managed to avoid that headache, but instead we’ve drawn a tie that will have most of our fans travelling on a roughly 830 mile round trip to Plymouth on the south coast.  I’m very tempted to jump on a train and get a ticket for 3rd round day.  See what happens for xmas, and if I get any money

Got these jokes ready for me in my inbox at work, and they really made me chuckle, so thought I’d stick them up here to give you a laugh.

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman:	What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant:	Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman:	No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:	Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant:	Geography isn’t my strong point..
Jamie Theakston:	There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant:	Leicester

BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White:	Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:	I don’t know.
Stewart White:	I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant:	Arm
Stewart White:	Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re…?
Contestant:	Strong.
Stewart White:	Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
Contestant:	Louis
Stewart White:	Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:	Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski:	What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant:	France.
Trelinski:	France is another country. Try again.
Contestant:	Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski:	Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:	Sorry, I don’t know.
Trelinski:	Just guess a country then.
Contestant:	Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:	Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: – Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant:	The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark:	For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis:	I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne:	What was Gandhi’s first name?
Contestant:	Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter:	What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant:	I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO ( MANCHESTER )
Phil:	What’s 11 squared?
Contestant:	I don’t know.
Phil:	I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant:	Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:	Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant:	Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:	On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant:	Er. … ..
Richard:	He makes bread . . .
Contestant:	Er .. …..
Richard:	He makes cakes . . .
Contestant:	Kipling Street?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter:	Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant:	Barcelona.
Presenter:	I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant:	I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain .

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:	What is the world’s largest continent?
Contestant:	The Pacific.

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter:	Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant:	Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:	What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant:	Magna Carta?

JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O’Brien:	How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant:	Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth … ER. ER … Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle:	In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller:	Japan.
Chris Searle:	I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller:	Er …….. Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat:	How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (long pause):	Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM’S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham:	In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:	Holland?
Daryl Denham:	Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant:	Iceland? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully)	It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant:	No.

And another…

Did you know that Eagles mate for life?

Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years.After a while when she didn’t return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!

Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren’t any lady eagles available he’d have to cross the feather barrier.

So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest.

The sex was good but all the dove would say is ……. ‘I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!’
Well this so got on Harry’s nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate..

He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is……..
‘I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!’ So out with the loon.
Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was…..
NO, The duck didn’t say THAT
… ~  Don’t be SO disgusting!
The duck said….

‘I am a DRAKE,
You made a MISTAKE!!!!