Wiggy's World

These past few days since I read yet another post on Retro Yakking about the New Red Dwarf series that has been on recently (of which I’ve not been able to see any of it ) me and Smash have been talking about some of the moments that stick in our head, most notibly Kat standing at the vending machine repeatedly ordering “Fish”, the episode where Kat is morphed into Dwayne Dibley, and another one where he’s sat in Listers room trying to catch his robotic fish with a little fishing rod, with the immortal words “I’m gonna get you little fishy”.  I think this program kinda sums up my stupid sense of humour, and it’s crazy that even Geoffrey used to love watching it   I’ve gotta get the whole series on DVD if I can.  *edit*  Does ANYONE wanna treat me to the 20th Anniversary edition BOX SET??

“FISH…… FISH….. FISH”

“Dwayne Dibley!?!”

The Cat looking Fiiiiiinnnneee!

Hmmm it was funny on Monday driving into the car park at work.  Someone had stuck wooden pallets into the drains, and I wondered why.  It wasn’t till closer inspection, and a chat between Roger and this bloke that we found out someone had been along and stolen all the drain covers for half the estate

They've gone!

Shame I aint got a RWD car to practice drifting through the pallets

Found this news story on Yahoo and it made me chuckle..

A judge in Stuttgart, Germany, is currently trying to decide on a lawsuit in which a man hired his neighbour to impregnate his wife.

It gets weirder.

Demetrius Soupolos, 29, and his former beauty queen wife, Traute, were very keen to have a child together, but Demetrius was sterile so they began to seek out other possible options.

The option the couple eventually decided on was to hire their neighbour Frank Maus, 34, to impregnate Traute.

Maus, who was already married with two children agreed to do the job for the fee of €2,000. For three evenings a week for the next six months, a total of 72 different times, Maus tried to impregnate Traute.

When his own wife objected, Maus explained that he was “only doing it for the money.”

After the unsuccessful six-month period Soupolos insisted that Maus take a medical examination. The doctor concluded that Maus was also sterile, which forced his wife into admitting that their two children did not belong to him.

Soupolos is now suing Maus in an effort to get his money back. Maus’ argument is that he did not guarantee conception, only that he would try his hardest.

Nipped round to our Malcs yesterday, and got abused by his kids Lauren and Megan! With our Lew and Stef both working for Malc, Stef mostly, the girls know them, and they mentioned that me and Malc look like Cousins (Impressive) and that in my family me and Rooney are the ugliest (Rooney being the nickname Spid and Malc gave our Stef)  Nipped round to my mum and dads for 5 minutes as I was in the area and everyone seemed to compliment me on the tie I’d worn.  First time I’d worn a tie since god knows when, and I failed in an attempt to bribe money out of Maddsy.  Told him for £5 a day I may be tempted to wear one again, but that idea got blown out of the water.  Watched “The Day the Earth Stood Still” and for some reason just couldn’t really get into it.  Not Keanu’s best film in my eyes (Hmm I’m noticing my blog is becoming more and more a film review blog )

The other day we caught Maddsy raiding his “Comfort Food” draw at work, and managed to get a rare picture as evidence There was alsorts in there, and he’d managed to fill his “Geoffrey Bag” full of goodies like Pot Noodles, Crisps etc He’s gonna claim to kick my ass when reading this i’m sure 

Maddsys Secret "Comfort Food" Draw

As you can tell.  The temperatures must be rocketing up to a good 20 odd degrees here in the UK.  I can tell because the slightest bit of sun, and all of a sudden there are loads of bikers out on the road, and every man and his dog with a soft-top car seems to be wearing their thick winter coat and woolly hat on, BUT they’re driving with their roof off, making the most of this massive increase in temperature   Hell I think the Geordies will be loving it! The sun beaming down on them as they all head down to Whitley Bay this weekend or something, getting their Newcastle tattooed bodies out on the beach, as temperatures hit 15 degrees or something! * I’m in a bit of an odd mood*

Anyway that out the way, I’ve carried on with my “Stupid” film hunt, and last night watched “Don’t mess with the Zohan” It’s another that I thought was soo stupid that it was funny, and it’s defo one of Adam Sandlers best films for a while in my opinion (Many may disagree but hey-ho) Hit the gym last night, and John came in after a bit, working his legs and stomach again, and I flew through our usual 45 minute routine in about 20 so did some stomach before giving him a lift home.  We’re coming up for the 2nd year since Bratislava, and I’m still gettingquite a few hits from people looking for the famous “Muff Cafe” or where are “the best bars in Bratislava” etc.  I have to admit it was one of the best weekends I’ve had EVER, and one that has left a lasting impression with some of the lads

Our Ryan outside the Muff Cafe in Bratislava

Whilst Smash was on another of his “Search the internet for random/weird/geeky shit, he came acorss this which is awesome

It’s the same schadenfreude humor as Homer’s football in groin, working on so many levels, the levels of someone getting thwacked with a ball, in this case a giant ball, so let’s work on the concept of the bigger the ball the more Lulz !!! LINK

Big Ball Knockouts

Hmmm is it me or is advertising just getting so stupid it’s untrue! The case in point is the new advert for Pot Noodle’s new Donner Kebab flavour.  I saw it and thought “What The Fuck”  But to be fair I’ve said that about most of their adverts

Thats the latest advert from a long line of random as fuck adverts over here in the UK! Which its safe to say dont make me wanna rush out and buy one! Given that I’ can’t seem to stand Kebabs at all

I’m thinking of a follow up to my last post about my top 5 football games with maybe the most controversial yet! Given Mr 6k’s comment about being at Old Trafford for the “Peschi-Save” during the Sheff United vs Arsenal FA Cup semi-final all them years ago, I MIGHT try and drum up atleast a top 5 goalkeeper saves, or maybe I’ll do a top 10 goals in my opinion post   anyway that will be later in the week I reckon so keep your eyes out.

Seems like my new friend “The Yak” has been let loose this weekend over on Retro Yakking and I’m the proud recipient of his “Jacket Potato Award” Wow cheers Mr Harry Yak *sniffs and wipes an emotional tear from his cheek

The brand new Jacket Potato Award!

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This really aint looking good at the minute! Guess we’ll know more tomorrow, but with Wolves having secured promotion back to the Premier League, defeat at Spurs tomorrow and we COULD all but replace them in the championship!! *Table correct as of Sat Evening

1	Man Utd	31	13	1	1	34	11	9	4	3	20	10	33	71
2	Liverpool	32	10	6	0	31	8	10	4	2	28	13	38	70
3	Chelsea	32	9	5	2	28	11	11	2	3	27	9	35	67
4	Arsenal	32	9	5	2	24	11	8	5	3	30	17	26	61
5	Aston Villa	33	5	9	3	25	21	10	0	6	24	22	6	54
6	Everton	32	7	5	4	27	17	7	5	4	20	17	13	52
7	West Ham	33	8	2	6	21	17	4	7	6	17	20	1	45
8	Fulham	33	9	3	4	24	13	2	8	7	9	15	5	44
9	Tottenham	32	7	5	4	17	9	4	3	9	21	27	2	41
10	Wigan	32	7	4	5	15	16	4	4	8	16	20	-5	41
11	Stoke	33	9	5	3	20	14	1	4	11	13	34	-15	39
12	Man City	32	10	0	6	32	15	1	5	10	15	27	5	38
13	Bolton	33	7	2	7	19	19	4	2	11	20	31	-11	37
14	Portsmouth	32	7	3	7	23	25	2	7	6	12	23	-13	37
15	Sunderland	33	6	3	8	19	20	3	5	8	12	23	-12	35
16	Hull	33	3	5	8	16	30	5	5	7	20	26	-20	34
17	Blackburn	33	4	6	6	18	23	4	4	9	17	32	-20	34
18	Middlesbrough	33	5	8	4	16	17	2	2	12	9	30	-22	31
19	Newcastle	32	4	6	6	21	27	2	6	8	16	25	-15	30
20	West Brom	32	5	3	8	20	30	1	4	11	8	29	-31	25

After taking credit for giving the idea towards Hindleyite’s post HERE on Retro Yakking, and in the light of the Chelsea vs Liverpool Champions League Quarter-Final the other night, I decided that I’d try and compile a list of my top 5 favourite football matches.  I’m sure I’ve missed some cracking games out, so may have to make it a top 10 in a few weeks once I’ve given it even more thought

This is only my list, and I know there will be considerable bias show towards a certain team So the list in Reverse Order…

5. Sheffield United vs Nottingham Forest from Bramall Lane – 15-5-2003 – Think Mr 6K will like these highlights

4. Chelsea vs Liverpool from Stamford Bridge – 14-04-2009 Champions League Quarter Final

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So….. what a game that was the other night a real “humdinger”! Think I’ve only just calmed myself after what was possibly one of the best games of football I had seen in a long time! Maybe since I was on the end of two 4-3 defeats at the hands of the scousers all them years ago when Newcastle seemed to play without fear (thus blowing a 12 point lead at the top of the table bla bla bla ) , or the time we brushed United aside at St James’s Park 5-0 To start with I didn’t care who won as I hate both sets of teams with a passion, but as it the game wore on, I found myself wanting Liverpool to go through, specially as they went 2-0 up.  Once Chelsea got the goal back just after half-time I thought “Fuck It” and hoped for more goals! I didn’t expect to see 5 more scored in a pulsating 2nd half of fooball! Praise must go to both sets of players and managers who put on a spectacle (As much as I hate sending praise the way of Chelsea, Liverpool or even Man Utd)

Didn’t bother watching the Man Utd game, as I knew it wouldn’t live up to the night before so I sat down and watched Quantum of Solace, which I didn’t really enjoy all that much.  Don’t know what it was, but I have certainly enjoyed better Bond films than that.  whilst listening to the radio this morning, they were on about summer holidays, and how everyone will be putting their finishing touches to their holiday plans for the summer, before heading off somewhere! I’d love to be able to go to Faliraki, but I can’t even afford a week in Falkirk (Unless CarolAnne let me put up a tent for the week in their back garden haha)  Borrowed Tropic Thunder from Crit so gonna chill out and watch that in a bit I think.  From what him and Smash have said it’s quite a funny/stupid film, which falls right into my kinda category haha!

I’m becoming a Nottingham Forest fan for the remaining 3 or so games till the end of the season! This is for pure selfish reasons HAHA! I’m hoping that IF Newcastle go down, both Sheffield, Derby, Coventry and Forest are able to stay in the Championship and with Leicester looking like winning League 1, I have a chance of getting ou Rob to try and sort some tickets out or something IF Forest were to stay up, I’m sure John, Orwin and a few of them being Forest fans would love a weekend in the Toon taking in the game as well

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First of all thanks to the people who wished me well due to my cold, and hope everyone has had a nice Easter break (Those who celebrate Easter that is)

Heard the word Humdinger for the first time in god knows how long this weekend! Was sat watching the Masters Golf on the BBC, and someone played a pretty decent shot, OKAY maybe it was an awesome chip in from about 100 yards And when I heard it for some reason I couldn’t stop chuckling away to myself! I think it may have been the overdose of Lemsip or something or maybe just the tiredness of very little sleep! It’s a word I’m gonna have to start using from time to time I think!

At the time of writing this I’m now pretty much fully recovered from the cold that took a hold of me last week, and I’m slowly catching up on all the lost hours sleep, so fingers crossed that I can start feeling like the old Wiggy used to feel HAHA!  I always find reading is a great way to tire me out, so I’ve bought a book, Yes thats right no-need to re-read that sentence! I have bought a book.  Those people who watch Soccer Saturday on Sky Sports will known all about this! The book I’ve bought is called “Jellyman’s Thrown a Wobbly” by Jeff Stelling!  All about the goings on behind the scenes during the most popular Saturday afternoon football results service in the world I actually remember the day he came out and said the very phrase! More on that once I’ve finished the book (I bought it Saturday and have not read a page yet )

I knew that I had to get out of the house, even tho I was feeling under the weather, with a nose like a tap, and eyes that were streaming at times, and given that Friday morning was the first of my 4 day weekend, I thought I’d atleast get the chance of a lie in! Oh how little I knew! Think it was about half 7ish when I heard a lorry reversing down the street below, and then it seemed to stop pretty much outside my house.  I decided to investigate a little to see the bloke in the bungalow opposite taking a delivery of bricks and things for what appears my be a conservatory/extension.  Got myself some Lemsip and Piriteze in case my hayfever kicks up again any time soon, and headed to my mum and dads.  Started playing Tiger Woods on their Wii (I play it loads more than my dad ) and then towards the back 9 they decided it was as good a time as any to head over to Derby! I’d mentioned heading over there to my mum, cos I fancied getting out of the house and I’d never been shopping round Derby, and I thought I’d try and infect as many people with my cold as possible! So what better than going over Derby way   Got parked up and had a walk round with my mum, dad and sister, and then inevitabley we got split up, and I had a wander round.  Called into Baronjon and saw John, who’s first words were “You looking fucking knackered and rough” My instant thoughts were “Well thanks MATE”  Had a wander round and bought a few t-shirts from Topman and a top from Baronjon that was marked down from £20 to £16 but I was told I could have it for £10! Bargain.  Messed about over at my parents for a bit, and my mother decided to make me some Pea and Ham soup! I used to love it, ill one day I think I’d just eaten TOO much of it, and suddenly went off it, before deciding to head home for a nice hot bath!  Didn’t really feel upto much for the rest of the evening, so plonked myself in front of the telly and watched a few episodes of NCIS (I’m really getting back into this program too) and then CSI New York before heading to bed.

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Now I’ve not seen something like this for years! A rugby match in Romania and 9 players have since been banned for their part in this! Pretty crazy shit if you ask me LINK to the BBC News story!