Aug
23
2007
0

Come on england..

Just had a phone call from our Lewi, who’s busy out and about helping our malc or something.  They have tried to buy tickets for the England Russia game at Wembley, but found out you need to have a FAN number! Guess who has one :lol: Also they both need to be registered, as its 1 ticket per fan! Think I may have to try and get the afternoon off work, and go down and watch it :D Thats if the 3 of us can get tickets.  Dont care where I sit, its just the fact i’ll have been to the new wembley :lol:

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
22
2007
0

Watch out for that treeeeee….

8 Smoking Boffins emailed me this this morning, and i was amazed, so thought i’d stick it up on here :shock:

The driver of this Audi RS6, got out, walked away and phoned emergency services on his phone.

*nb* This is 1 car not two!

Jesus :shock:

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
21
2007
0

Been around the world…

I do enjoy looking through the few stats programs I have for my blog and that, and This is a table of where visitors are from through google analytics over the last 2 months :lol: I do tend to be quite nosey, and like to know where people visit my blog from and that :oops: ah well! Seems one or two places I’m quite popular :lol:

  1. London
  2. Mansfield                
  3. (Not Set)                
  4. Manama                  
  5. Thames Ditton          
  6. Nottingham              
  7. Watford
  8. Birmingham
  9. Reading
  10. Sheffield
  11. Amsterdam
  12. Manchester
  13. Melton Mowbray
  14. Cambridge
  15. Bletchley
  16. Edinburgh
  17. Milton Keynes
  18. Nicosia
  19. Gloucester
  20. Dublin
  21. St Paul
  22. Chicago
  23. Brentford
  24. Belgrade
  25. Stirling                   
  26. Utrecht
  27. Copenhagen
  28. Guildford
  29. Subotica
  30. Madrid
  31. Zwolle
  32. Melbourne
  33. Renfrew
  34. Bristol
  35. Los Angeles
  36. Croydon
  37. Stafford
  38. Slough
  39. New York
  40. Liverpool
  41. Blaby
  42. Newark-on-Trent
  43. Hemel Hampstead
  44. Munich
  45. Naa;dwijk
  46. Leeds
  47. Oxford
  48. Poplar
  49. Lincoln
  50. Bournemouth
  51. Falkirk
  52. Toronto
  53. Chongqing
  54. Ottawa
  55. Helsinki
  56. Berkhamsted
  57. Moscow
  58. Denver
  59. Oldham
  60. Rotterdam
  61. York
  62. Inverness
  63. Venray
  64. Riyadh
  65. Helmond
  66. West Bromwich
  67. Olathe
  68. Shrewsbury
  69. Warwick
  70. Tampa
  71. Alkmaar
  72. Runcorn
  73. Wuppertal
  74. Newcastle
  75. Zagreb
  76. Halifax
  77. Stockport
  78. Dartford
  79. Toulouse
  80. Palm Springs
  81. Sydney
  82. Northampton
  83. Tilbury
  84. Lewiston
  85. Bromborough
  86. Bala Cynwyd
  87. Levittown
  88. Dusseldorf
  89. Kansas City
  90. Hartlepool
  91. Harrisburg
  92. Teddington
  93. Stockholm
  94. Utica
  95. Valletta
  96. Biggleswade
  97. Detroit
  98. Anchorage
  99. Weert
  100. Fukuoka
  101. Irmo
  102. Gainseville
  103. Meriden
  104. Middlesborough
  105. Lincoln
  106. Aylesbury
  107. San Francisco
  108. Palmerston North
  109. Toledo
  110. Swindon
  111. Durban
  112. Lansing
  113. Szombathely
  114. Luton
  115. Erding
  116. Novi Beograd
  117. Chambery
  118. Phoenix
  119. Lacey
  120. Bolton
  121. Atlanta
  122. Wollongong
  123. Uddingston
  124. Woking
  125. Maidenhead
  126. Blackburn
  127. Limassol
  128. Rostov-Na-Donu
  129. Mississauga
  130. Chennai
  131. Aldershot
  132. Lubbock
  133. Wolverhampton
  134. Amersfoort
  135. Renton
  136. Hong Kong
  137. Trollhattan
  138. Buenos Aires
  139. Frankfurt am Main
  140. Berkeley
  141. Arhus
  142. Gdansk
  143. Westfield Center
  144. Laxou
  145. Kampala
  146. Paris
  147. Nijmegen
  148. London
  149. Portland
  150. Curitiba
  151. Delhi
  152. North Miami Beach
  153. Barry
  154. Kansas City
  155. Framingham
  156. Bensalem
  157. Annandale
  158. Lognes
  159. Carfidd
  160. Milliani
  161. Deventer
  162. Enfield
  163. Pretoria
  164. Louisville
  165. Brussels
  166. Stevenage
  167. Lyon
  168. The Hague
  169. Bolton
  170. Offenburg
  171. San Diego
  172. New Bedford
  173. Elmhurst
  174. Tarrytown
  175. Stayton
  176. Basildon
  177. Warsaw
  178. Cologne
  179. Hengelo
  180. Austin
  181. Beaverton
  182. Andover
  183. Nanjing
  184. Huddersfield
  185. Stapleford
  186. Kalmar
Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
21
2007
0

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

  1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
  2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
  4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it “In”.
  5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
  6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write ” For Smuggling Diamonds”.
  7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy”.
  8. Don’t use any punctuation.
  9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
  10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go”.
  12. Sing Along At The Opera.
  13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme?
  14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
  15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In the Mood.
  16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
  17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won! I Won!”
  18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling “Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!”
  19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
  20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
    Its Called … therapy.

Something I found on another forum I go on! Wonder if Maddsy has used No. 19 before! Or if Dylan did No. 18 when leaving the zoo yesterday

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
21
2007
2

Lets all go to the Zoo…

So yesterday was the first day at his new training camp for Lee “Pigeon Legs” Taylor, ahead of his super super light-feather weight bout against Adam “Atom-Bomb” Gilbert. “Pigeon Legs” is currently under a strict regime, and the location is being kept a close guarded secret, so please dont ask for his location! It’ll only disrupt his routine. “Atom-Bomb” meanwhile seems coolness personified!! He’s not one for these training camps, and is preferring to do his training at work, constantly running up and down the stairs at work ala Rocky Balboa :lol:

I must admit I have “Pigeon Legs” down as a favourite, because I feel the ballet lessons his dad paid for him to go on worked well during football on sunday! He pranced up and down the touchline like a pro during the first half, and showed Maddsy a clean pair of heels with his quick feet in the second half, So I think that’ll stand him in good stead for this bout!

Moving onto a completely different story now. Maddsy told us yesterday that Stevie was braving it, and taking the kids to the zoo!! So was really looking forward to hearing about Dylan wrestling a Lion or Gorilla or something, and it appears the lad didnt let us down :lol:

Allegedly he decided to put his face up close to the glass in the lion pen, and basically stared out a lion! Altho it did wink at him, and was more than likely thinking “I’m gonna eat you Boy!!” But it then buggered off! He then saw the Spider Monkeys or something, and acted like you’d expect, and made some little monkey go crazy, and jump about and everything!! HAHAHA Good old Dylan! Wish there was a photo of him and the lion going head-to-head!! All hail “Dylan the Lion Slayer” HAHAHA
Looking like it’s gonna be town on friday night! :D Maddsy needs to speak to “The high-chief of the tribe” to see if she either fancies it, or will let him down on his own, but Ive txt Wayniac and Bagi, and Wayniac is up for it, but Bagi is being gay and wont reply to my text message :lol: Will try and get some others out soon!

I really am missing the gym, so it seems i’m gonna have to pull my finger out and get my car sorted soonest! Not bad to say I aint been since John went on holiday, yet I said I’d keep going whilst he was on holiday :oops: Gonna have to battle through the pain barrier now when I start going again :|

After receiving a message on facebook from Lee’s mum, me and Lee have been chatting about when both sets of parents meet when you’re in a relationship, and someone always seems to be blind drunk!! Wether it’s the mother (in lee’s case) or daugther (as in my case, be it her 18th, but still) :lol:

For some reason my body is on the verge of breaking I think :shock: Extract from an email sent to Bahrain this morning :oops:

I can safely say my body is fucked!!! Walking home last night, and felt a sharp pain in my right achilles, which is never a good thing, still got a bit of a dead leg on my left calf, and knee is still scabbing up, so in a bit of pain LOL! Right fuck up me aint it! Then to top things off getting ready for work this morning, and my left leg tried to give way! Wouldnt have been so bad had i been trying to get my right leg into my tracky bottoms hahaha! Safe to say i fell onto the bed cursing.  :lol:

Think I will be giving maxxd football a miss for a week or two

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
20
2007
4

Slight update..

Yes still alive and that folks :D appears I have a new addiction again… Football Manager 07!

So what have I been upto lately… not much tbh! Wed night there was no football, so I chilled on FM07, whilst watching one of the live games on the telly.

Thursday, nothing of any great note apart from my mum and dad nipped round for a bit, and I’ve never seen my DVD collection dissapear so quick, since Bex last came to visit whenever that was :shock: Altho half of them were for our Stef, who had been back for his check-up on his tendon, and they’ve found out it;s snapped or something, so they have had to operate again, and insert the rod back in (I think… my mother was telling me on my walk home the other day, so have forgotten most of what she said) So he’s back on his course of physio!

Friday at work was fun, due to the fact the team we were playing on sunday contained Lee’s mate “Ron Weasley” and Lee was on about coming down to Laugh at us! Friday night, had a few beers, watched a film or two whilst on the computer for a bit. Got a phone call off my mum, who said Owen wanted to talk to me, but when she went to give him the phone all she got was “No Mama, Owen reading” :lol: Should get to see him next weekend I think :D
Saturday was spent tidying the house and that whilst watching Soccer AM, then the Pompey vs Bolton game. Can tell the football season has kicked off, cos all of a sudden it’s pissing it down during all the games :lol: My dad came round bout 4ish ands we sat and watched the scores coming in on Soccer Saturday, until we decided to watch the Newcastle vs Villa preview on Setanta instead. Was a boring game enough said :lol:

Once the parents had gone, got ready to meet Wayniac in the Swan. Had a great night, and had a laugh with some of his mates, whilst texting Bagi to annoy him that he was skint and couldnt come out, yet we were larging it :lol: Bumped into Dawson and Will in Yates’s and Will was wasted, and then Ryan and his mate appeared as if from no-where :lol: Appears Wayniac had txt him friday, and asked if he was out, so not being one to turn down a good piss up, he came down! Then once i’d txt maddsy… i got a reply saying “Thanks for the invite” It wasn’t as if i’d mentioned it to you all week, and then on the friday night youth!! Went to a few other pubs, and then ended the night in the Late Lounge! Was a quality night in there, and made a change from liquid or QI! But no Jagermeister and red bulls this week! Just a few double amaretto and cokes :lol:

Woke up quite early sunday morning for some reason, so tried to go back to sleep for a bit longer, but to no avail, so ended up watching the championship on ITV, with the pain of watching the mighty yellows lose to Lincoln Shitty, then had a bath, whilst maddsy kept trying to ring me, to tell me to get my lazy ass out of bed!! Grrrr

Played Forest Town Academy (which I think is Forest Town Reserves on Saturdays) and they’re a good side! I ended up reffing the first half, and I’d like to think i got most decisions correct, apart from a hand-ball by Malc, which I couldnt see as Fatty Maddox was in the way :lol: Was a good battling performance from the lads, and I must admit I thought their linesman was immense! I’d never known that Mark had paid for his son Lee “Pigeon Legs” Taylor to have Ballet lessons ROFL! He was prancing up and down the line, and wafting the flag in the most campest of ways :lol:

2nd half I cam on at centre-back inplace of Moorey, who always seems to be getting injured, and managed to rip the scab off my knee AGAIN! 4 weeks running now! You’d have thought i’d have learnt :oops: and also managed to get kicked as i was sliding in for a challenge, and got a dead leg from it now! Was funny 2nd half, cos “Pigeon Legs” came on, and he went up for a header, and all you heard was “Pigeon Legs” shout “Oh fuck!” As Malc rolled him and Lee missed the header completley! Lee also skinned Maddsy, altho Maddsy claims he was out of breath, and knew that Sammi was covering him so he “let him past”. Finished the game 3-3 and got on the phone to my dad straight away to see what the Man Utd score was! Result… Man Utd 1 down with 20 minutes to go! Maddsy’s got season tickets to a relegation battle ROFL

A cracking game with every player wearing the club colours with pride.

Before the game Brad and Moorey got the players together and asked for each player to give 100% and not to let their heads drop, unlike the previous weeks match. They were not disappointed!

The match started with Academy controlling the early stages and were rewarded with a 2 goal lead by the 20th minute mark.Rather than let our heads drop all the players seemed to step up a gear and get ourselves on level terms thanks to 2 Malc Birch goals.However Academy went into the break leading 3-2.

The second half started like the first with the pace of the Academy team taking control,but we stuck to our task with alot of battle and heart and got our reward with a excellent hat-trick goal by Malc.We could of even won the game right at the death with an excellent opportunity which went begging.

A excellent result here today boys at a very strong Div 2 side, this is exactly how the Gaffers want you all to play.Lets keep this up and take it into the season.

Man of the Match goes to Malc for an excellent first hat-trick, but also a special mention to Stu who was instrumental at the back.Well done boys!

Spent the rest of the afternoon/evening cleaning the graze on my knee and watching the Liverpool vs “Spring board champions” Chelsea. Got chatting to Lizzie on msn, who wasnt feeling too well, so tried to cheer her up a bit, and we had a chat about our fave films, and that got me in the mood for one, So i went and put on Scarface! Finished bout 10, and went straight to bed, and out like a light!

Hmmmm the other day I got a phone call from Pam, saying that I’d had some mail delivered to their house, which aint bad to say it’s now over a year since me and bex split up :s Turns out it was a bank card in my name, so Pam has forwarded it on, and it turns out its for the Joint Savings account, so when she took her name off the normal account, she may have changed the address on the savings account, altho there is nothing in it, so not that bothered, was just gonna close it soon anyway :lol:

Me looking very menacing and chav-like :lol:

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
20
2007
0

Happy Birthday…

To my bro Lewi for sunday (cos at the time of writing this for some reason the blog was bing stupid, and wouldnt let me post or anything :S )
Happy Birthday mate, hope you had a good night saturday.

See ya soon

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
17
2007
0

Another funny article

Another column that I enjoy reading is Ian Holloways column on the BBC Sport website! He’s one of them no nonsense chaps, who always seems to have a smile on his face, and is always up for joking around!

The Plymouth manager gives his inimitable views on the week’s events in football and beyond.

This week he talks about Argyle’s excellent start, Wayne Rooney’s boots and Roy Keane’s attack on the WAGs.

Ollie also pays his own special tribute to Elvis Presley, who died 30 years ago this week. Click the link at the top to hear him in full flow.

GOOD START TO THE SEASON

Well it’s three points out of three – only another 45 games to go! It was a very hard-fought game against Hull – to go one behind and come back and show the spirit we did is very good.

We’re in fourth place in the first table of the season – I wish we could freeze it and stay there. I’d probably take that at the end of the season, if I can’t get first or second.

 

We’re also through to the next round of the Carling Cup. I think that’s the first time I’ve managed to do that – as a manager anyway.

Last year I said I was like a bad teabag – because I didn’t stay in the cup very long – but we’re tasting a little bit nicer now – you can’t see the bottom of the cup anymore, you can definitely see there’s tea in there.

KEANO’S ATTACK ON THE WAGS

Roy Keane: “We had one player this summer who didn’t even have the courtesy to call us back because his wife wanted to move to London – and shopping was mentioned.”

Well Sunderland should sort out their shopping centres then, shouldn’t they! If that is the reason why these players aren’t coming then it’s a sad state of affairs but I wouldn’t like to wager why any women doesn’t want to go anywhere because trying to understand a woman can get you in trouble.

They say one thing and mean another and as my dad said years ago – you can’t live with them – but you certainly can’t live without them, son.

I’ve got four women in my house – my wife and my three daughters – and I tell you what, it’s pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we’re out shopping I try and look in a man’s shop while they make their minds up.

 

Tell all the WAGs we’ve got a brand new shopping centre in Plymouth called Drake Circus and it’s superb, so you can’t level that at us.

My daughters are going there this afternoon and I’ve nicked my wife’s purse so she can’t spend anything. So they’ll all be doing some window shopping – beautiful.

ROONEY’S UNLUCKY BREAK – BOOTS TO BLAME?

I noticed Ian Wright suggesting Wayne should wear boots like my dad used to wear! I’m not sure. The game’s so fast these days and he’s got such fast feet.

Someone nicks the ball away and accidentally stamps on his foot…whatever boots he had on he might well have broken something.

Having said that, I’m not so sure there’s enough support in the soles these days. It looks to me like you can bend them in half quite easily, whereas years ago you had a bit more rigidity in the sole, so I think they should look at that.

 

It’s bad luck for everyone but he’s young so I’m sure he’ll get over it.

It’s not the best start for United, is it? It just goes to show you, the people at the top expect to win all the time and now two draws feels like two defeats.

They’re going into the Manchester derby four points behind Man City which has got to be a first.

THE RESURRECTION OF SVEN

We all said he was great, didn’t we…..ha ha ha! He’s gonna prove us all right – we always said he was brilliant!

He’s got a good track record in club football and he had a good track record when he came to England as well. It was only when the papers found that he was being a dodgy geezer with a load of different birds that people went off him a bit because we didn’t trust him.

It didn’t really bother me because he wasn’t married to that woman. If you’re not going against a contract that’s a bit different.

£35m EURO MILLIONS WINNER

  It’s fantastic isn’t it? I wonder if she’s going to turn up for work next Monday?

Good luck to her – is she single? Well I tell you what, she won’t be single for long, mate! What a catch. There’ll be a few people getting a net out trying to snare her but good luck to her, fantastic.

 

I don’t think it would be wise for her to get involved with football, though.

I think she should just go off and have a lovely holiday, lie on a big yacht that she’s just bought and go and watch a load of soaps. Get a great big telly on deck – lovely jubbly.

Whatever’s her bag she should just go off and do it. There’s more than enough money in football, she should just chill out and have a sandwich, as my son says.

606 PUNTER’S QUESTION

Sirsawyer: Ollie I’m a big Argyle fan with a season ticket. I and most other fans were hoping you would sign some more players this summer. The big question is why didn’t you sign Paul Mcveigh after you had him on trial? He looked a 15-goal a season man to me.

I didn’t want to give him two years and Luton did. Plymouth’s out on a limb and some players don’t want to come down here unless it’s a big deal.

Basically I’ve got Ebanks-Blake, Chadwick, Fallon and Hayles and he said he wanted to play up front. It’s not that I didn’t want him but sometimes these things don’t marry up.

606 PUNTER’S QUESTION II

Supergreensy: Mr Holloway would you like to borrow a hammer and chisel to open the chairman’s wallet?

I don’t think that’s right. I think everybody’s looking at it the wrong way. We’ve got some really good players here and there’s some really good young kids coming through and sometimes the more you have the worse you get – ask Alex at the moment.

United looked like they were going to run away with the Premier League and they couldn’t win their first two games. Look at Martin Jol at Spurs, they’ve lost their first two games – it ruins your spirit sometimes.

 

If I found some good players I would add them, simple as that. I haven’t got a problem with my chairman and I don’t think our fans should have a problem with our chairman.

All summer I’ve been under pressure to try and bring other people in – who are they? And with the prices that are going around at the moment, how can we compete with that?

Sometimes you don’t need to, it’s about your spirit and your togetherness and that’s what I deem very important in a football club.

606 PUNTER’S QUESTION 3:

K8ibelle: Ollie – Do you have a fantasy football team for the new season, and if so who is in it?

  No I don’t do that because it’s fantasy. I’ve got the reality of having to pick a team who for all sorts of reasons might not be available to me – suspensions, illness, their wife might be ill, their kids might be upset and all sorts of things.

I’ve got the reality so I don’t deal in fantasies when it comes to football. It’s great for other people to play and good luck to those of you who do it but I personally wouldn’t waste my time on it.

30 YEARS OF HURT – WHAT DID ELVIS MEAN TO YOU?
I love the big man. Absolutely brilliant. I had his 40 greatest hits when I was young and I love him to death.

Some of the films were a bit dodgy. That one where he was diving off a cliff, climbed back up to the top and his hair was immaculate and he wasn’t even wet….I couldn’t believe that!

And for me that’s why he’s the King.

I’ve never seen anybody look so good in a skintight pair of speedos. And do you know what, I swear he’s still alive because the other day I saw a bloke down the chip shop who looked just like him!


LINK

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
16
2007
6

Having a bad day?

Does it compare to this?

I had a right disaster after I logged out. The cleaner hadn’t done any washing, so I’d go no shirts for work. I thought “I’ll stick a load in”. It’s a washer drier and after I heard the drier stop working I was going to go and grab a shirt to iron it ready. I opened the door and a gush of water came out…bad news!! I set the machine to empty and spin to see if it’d help. Well, it emptied, didn’t spin, and then filled up again! I went down stairs to the Indian bloke in reception and told him the score (although he obviously didn’t have a clue!). So, he walks in to the apartment and goes to the washing machine, so I said “don’t open it, it’s full”, so he nodded and then….OPENED THE DOOR!! So now he’s stood there in front of it just watching 5 gallons empty out on to my kitchen floor going “ooooooh”. So I pull him out the way and shut the door again! Now he’s gone to fetch a mop, but doesn’t bring a bucket!! The final straw came next. We’ve got a water cooler in the kitchen too that’s stopped cooling, so I tell him “you need to get that sorted too, quickly” as I was proper pissed off by now. So he says “aahhh sir, water on floor from here?”!!!! “You’re the one that emptied the water on the floor two minutes ago!!!!”. I just told him to get out! After that I used up every clean towel I had mopping the water up and took my washing downstairs to the laundry room.

ROFL Unlucky mate :P

Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
Aug
16
2007
0

True Faiths Match Report vs Bolton…

I really do love reading these match reports, and other reports they stick up on their website.  Some of the stuff in here made me chuckle no end :lol:

Big Sam, little Sam, cardboard box.

Allardyce triumphed over Lee in the “Sam off” at our new gaffer’s old stamping ground and he firmly stuck 2 fingers up at his previous chairman, Phil Gartside, who has been whinging his tits off in the press constantly about Big Sam’s departure. He has been bleating like a dumped, love-struck lover who has yet to empty his baals since he was given the boot by his former partner; move on Mr Gartside, he is ours now.

Big Sam awarded debuts to 4 of his new signings and opted for his preferred 4-3-3 formation, with Oba and Milner up top either side of Viduka. From the off, we pressed and chased every ball and it seemed as if many players had the post-match pro-zone analysis in mind. The difference in the urgency and desire in this performance compared to our last competitive match at Watford in May was staggering; mind, there was remarkably 7 different players between that starting XI and this starting XI.

We all knew that Big Sam would improve both our attacking and defending of set-pieces (although the Tele-bastard-tubbies could have improved our goals via set-pieces ratio) and we went ahead via 1 on 11 minutes. Young Prince Charles whipped a free kick in to that hazardous “no-man’s land” area of the box and it eluded everyone and nestled in to the far corner. If Rozehnal had any hair-style other than his cropped crew-cut type barnet then I am convinced he would have glanced a touch and marked his sublime debut with a goal, which shows that goal-scoring does not favour baldies and is the reason why all of Right Said Fred never made it as centre forwards and instead showered the world with their “I’m too baldy for my shirt” nonsense.

We doubled our lead 10 minutes later thanks to another Oba wonder goal. Milner hustled and harried Hunt into conceding possession and then linked up with Smith before crossing in to the box where Oba had found himself several yards of space by presumably disguising himself as a blade of grass, much to the bemusement of their centre havles. The acrobatic Nigerian cheasted the ball before unleashing a superlative over-head kick past Jaskelainen with his wrong peg; that is of course if his left peg is his strongest as I still have no idea which would have the most effect if he kicked someone in the nuts. The travelling hordes were in euphoria on 27 minutes when went 3 up. Taylor’s forward pass was neatly controlled by Oba who unleashed a speculative 25 yard shot which didn’t look like troubling the dodgy-fringed Finish keeper until it took a wacky deflection off Faye and bobbled past him. “If you don’t but a ticket, then you won’t win the raffle”, and all of that old house-wives gobbledygook phrases.

You can never relax following NUFC and even if we were leading 15-0 against a team of blind, legless penguins who were down to 7 men (penguins) with 2 minutes left I would be nervous. I was worried at half time that we might collapse if Bolton scored early in the 2nd half, which they did. They broke away from our corner and Nolan put Anelka through who managed to out-pace Carr (stop laughing) and megged Harper before celebrating with his crappy “I’m a butterfly” celebration; what’s that all about? We shut up shop and were more than happy to hold on for a 3-1 win and if this is what the supposed “long ball, dour” football (circa the press and the moaning Bolton fans) is all about then give me it by the bucket-load.

All the new boys impressed and my pick of the 4 was Rozehnal, who looked calm, assured and read the game well and alongside Taylor provided a sterner defensive wall than Hadrian’s and it’ll take more than some radgee Jocks to break past. Captain for the day was Geremi and he ran the midfield alongside our ginger general and looks to be a shrewd acquisition. It must be something in the name with regards to legendary status; Ron Jeremy certainly is for nailing some of the best looking porn stars in the world even though he looks like a squashed version of Terry McDermott lest we forget Jeremy Beadle for his services to home-made videos of cats falling off washing machines despite having massively in-different sized hands. I think Geremi is going to be a massive player for us over the new few years and we have only seen him play in the middle of the park; don‘t forget, he is as versatile as a Swiss army knife and can play in many different positions.

A cracking way to start off the new season – all hail the Big Sam revolution!

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Written by Wiggy in: Daily Blogs |
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