Wiggy's World

Newcastle 0 Manchester City 1

Newcastle fans will wake up on Sunday April 1st, nursing the usual sore heads but even after several waking hours, memories of this game will seem like a bad April fool.

When it dawns on them that the events of the previous day actually happened, incredulity will soon turn to anger.

Two weeks of incredible rhetoric from St. James’ Park convinced most of us that recent disappointment would be dispelled by a performance to remember.

How wrong we were….

This was another low in the club’s recent history and it’s difficult to know exactly where this defeat leaves the management, players and fans of this rapidly disintegrating club.

For Glenn Roeder, the misery was compounded by having the knife twisted by City scorer Emile Mpenza – a player he tried to sign for West Ham.

In some ways, the goal was almost irrelevant as the confused team selection, tactics, substitutions and performance of the home side simply baffled the bemused and silent supporters.

A goalless draw – which seemed inevitable until Mpenza’s strke – would have been just as distressing and damaging.

Four Premiership games without a goal and just one point from the last twelve plus the UEFA Cup demise are the bare facts that will put a severe dent in season ticket renewals.

We may have already scraped enough points to be clear of the threat of relegation but make no mistake, this club in an alarming downward spiral.

*edit*

The guy who writes this column is ace! He makes me laugh so much, but its all so very true!

I think it’s fair to say that there is a fair bit of discontent surrounding NUFC at the minute. Alkmaar signified the end of our season without a shadow of a doubt, but we were promised in the local rag we would be fighting for Europe, our season wasn’t over, the players would try and finish with a flurry ‘for the fans’. Aye, fucking right.

This was a shocker. A truly rotten game with absolutely nothing going for it. Two shite teams playing shite football in front of a set of fans (of both sides) so numbed into disinterest after a season of perpetual garbage that they couldn’t even be arsed with raising themselves into whatever the opposite of apathy might be. Pathy?

I can’t even think of anything too much to say about the football. They hit the bar in the first half, I remember that. Mpenza, who seems to have been around for about twenty year (did Keegan not try to sign him just after we got promoted?) scored their winner after some shit defending and Taylor hit the bar near the end. That’s it. No-one was good for us. Dyer stood out as being especially shit but it would be wrong to single him out because we have a team packed full of stinkingly mediocre players.

Make no mistake, Man City were no better but it says everything about us we couldn’t even come near to breaking them down. Our midfield offered nowt, again. I’m far from the biggest fan of Captain Fantabulous, he tried hard enough but gives us fuck all and paired with Butt at home against a team like this lot…well enough said. Oba had a shocker. Oliver will no doubt be wanking in his bedsit and sticking pins in his effigee as we speak (allegedly) and the defence couldn’t defend. Clean sheets? There’s more chance of a fourteen year old with Playboy TV keeping them.

Speaking of which, why was Moore playing? Is he not fucking off back to Oz in six weeks? Have we not signed a close relative of Boumsong to be played and assessed in the meaningless run in? Why is Milner all of a sudden completely ostracised from the side despite being one of the only glimmers of light in this dog of a campaign? Where has Charlie gone? Our bright young thing from last season, nowhere to be seen. Oh but had on, it might not actually be meaningless at all now might it?

Glenn, you’re right – the season might not be over after all. You see, a cold sweat has just come over me watching Match of the Day and seeing the table flash before me. You see, we seem to only be seven points off the bottom three with as many games to go in a season when it looks like you might need the obligatory 40. At least. You see, we don’t look like winning a point, never mind a game for the rest of the season.

The season has turned into a really shit package holiday where the villa is filthy, the bairn has got heat rash and you just want to go home, but the rep can’t find you a flight until the arse end of next week. You can see 10,000 plus telling all their mates that they won’t be going with that company next year, they’ve never known anything like it.

Newcastle United, the Aeroflot of the Premiership. What a fucking shambles.

Keep the Faith (ha ha) and Shepherd Out