Wiggy's World

Newcastle 0 Manchester City 1

Newcastle fans will wake up on Sunday April 1st, nursing the usual sore heads but even after several waking hours, memories of this game will seem like a bad April fool.

When it dawns on them that the events of the previous day actually happened, incredulity will soon turn to anger.

Two weeks of incredible rhetoric from St. James’ Park convinced most of us that recent disappointment would be dispelled by a performance to remember.

How wrong we were….

This was another low in the club’s recent history and it’s difficult to know exactly where this defeat leaves the management, players and fans of this rapidly disintegrating club.

For Glenn Roeder, the misery was compounded by having the knife twisted by City scorer Emile Mpenza – a player he tried to sign for West Ham.

In some ways, the goal was almost irrelevant as the confused team selection, tactics, substitutions and performance of the home side simply baffled the bemused and silent supporters.

A goalless draw – which seemed inevitable until Mpenza’s strke – would have been just as distressing and damaging.

Four Premiership games without a goal and just one point from the last twelve plus the UEFA Cup demise are the bare facts that will put a severe dent in season ticket renewals.

We may have already scraped enough points to be clear of the threat of relegation but make no mistake, this club in an alarming downward spiral.

*edit*

The guy who writes this column is ace! He makes me laugh so much, but its all so very true!

I think it’s fair to say that there is a fair bit of discontent surrounding NUFC at the minute. Alkmaar signified the end of our season without a shadow of a doubt, but we were promised in the local rag we would be fighting for Europe, our season wasn’t over, the players would try and finish with a flurry ‘for the fans’. Aye, fucking right.

This was a shocker. A truly rotten game with absolutely nothing going for it. Two shite teams playing shite football in front of a set of fans (of both sides) so numbed into disinterest after a season of perpetual garbage that they couldn’t even be arsed with raising themselves into whatever the opposite of apathy might be. Pathy?

I can’t even think of anything too much to say about the football. They hit the bar in the first half, I remember that. Mpenza, who seems to have been around for about twenty year (did Keegan not try to sign him just after we got promoted?) scored their winner after some shit defending and Taylor hit the bar near the end. That’s it. No-one was good for us. Dyer stood out as being especially shit but it would be wrong to single him out because we have a team packed full of stinkingly mediocre players.

Make no mistake, Man City were no better but it says everything about us we couldn’t even come near to breaking them down. Our midfield offered nowt, again. I’m far from the biggest fan of Captain Fantabulous, he tried hard enough but gives us fuck all and paired with Butt at home against a team like this lot…well enough said. Oba had a shocker. Oliver will no doubt be wanking in his bedsit and sticking pins in his effigee as we speak (allegedly) and the defence couldn’t defend. Clean sheets? There’s more chance of a fourteen year old with Playboy TV keeping them.

Speaking of which, why was Moore playing? Is he not fucking off back to Oz in six weeks? Have we not signed a close relative of Boumsong to be played and assessed in the meaningless run in? Why is Milner all of a sudden completely ostracised from the side despite being one of the only glimmers of light in this dog of a campaign? Where has Charlie gone? Our bright young thing from last season, nowhere to be seen. Oh but had on, it might not actually be meaningless at all now might it?

Glenn, you’re right – the season might not be over after all. You see, a cold sweat has just come over me watching Match of the Day and seeing the table flash before me. You see, we seem to only be seven points off the bottom three with as many games to go in a season when it looks like you might need the obligatory 40. At least. You see, we don’t look like winning a point, never mind a game for the rest of the season.

The season has turned into a really shit package holiday where the villa is filthy, the bairn has got heat rash and you just want to go home, but the rep can’t find you a flight until the arse end of next week. You can see 10,000 plus telling all their mates that they won’t be going with that company next year, they’ve never known anything like it.

Newcastle United, the Aeroflot of the Premiership. What a fucking shambles.

Keep the Faith (ha ha) and Shepherd Out

HAHAHA Just having a break from work for 5 minutes!

After a battle we managed to get the xbox working on crits telly, and so whilst he’s been taping his screen up ready to print, i’ve been on a few missions on Ghost Recon 2!

OK that part was fictional about the xbox before his royal highness Mr 10 Fold gets mardy

got quite a lot done today at work, and we aim to continue that through tomorrow! Altho after a bit, all the standing around gets to you, and near the end me and crit both looked dead on our feet! Defo having another Sausage, egg and beans cob from the cob man in the B&Q car park! Was fantastic and i may get him a receipt so i can try and blag some food money off mark on top of all this overtime Like that will EVER happen
Tonight been down Potters with my bro! Not been for a drink with him for years, and we tried to get Malc out too, but he was passed out on the settee at his, after being out most of the afternoon drinking!

I beat Lewi 3-1 in the inaugural White Brothers Snooker Competition something he didnt take too kindly too HAHAHA Never mind Chewi Was nice to see some of the folks that i used to go in when i used to frequent the potters almost 3 or 4 times a week with Ryan ! Ahh the good old days!

Think once my bro gets me some money i have lent him, i may well go and get some more ink done! Alanman said all i have to do is give him enough notice, and he can book me in again like last time Just gotta decide what it is i wanna have done! Sad fucker or Loner maybe?

Gonna have to get in touch with Bex at some point when it suits! As she’s had a new bank card delivered to my house! Not bad! 8 months or so apart, and i’m still getting her bank statements and things *rollseyes* the day the mortgage was completed i got something from Confetti, just to really take the piss, saying Miss Gallagher your wedding is pending bla bla bla

So yesterday saw more fun and games down in the print part of Mini-Marquees!! Yesterday bout 11:15 i went down to start helping Crit, but Maddsy became busy, and its a 3 man job, so me and Crit waited round for him, then we decided to take an early lunch, only for a bloody delivery to arrive! So we get the delivery out the way, and finish lunch, and start preparing for the screen printing, and whilst 10 fold decided to go upstairs into our office, Geoffrey turned round and said something along the lines of “where the hell is Mick? He’s been gone since 11:15″ so Maddsy proceeded to tell him, and all he got in return was i’m going at 3, and i NEED this D & Q doing! Baring in mind it took me best part of 5 minutes to do Bloody muppet! No doubt he’ll go off on one today when i’m down helping my breadbin Crit *rollseyes*

On another note… if 10 Fold so much as starts any of his Wiggy and Crit abuse I shall do the following…

Wiggy is gonna lay the smackdown on his candy ass! Wiggy is gonna go down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right at Jabroni Drive, and proceed to check his candy ass in at the Smackdown Hotel. Its about time he knew his role and shut his mouth. If you smell… what Wiggy is cookin’!

So todays been quite eventful again down in the screen printing area! We’ve had Maddsy ring Nemma, and tell her Karl has got Aids, from having sex with monkeys Best not to ask where he gets his twatting ideas from, cos it’ll mentally scare us for life HAHA!

Really looking forward to the weekend, cos it’ll be work.. work.. work.. Altho the money will come in handy no doubt! Baring in mind i have a passpost to sort out ready for my Jollies!

Last night i watched that 300, which is an amazing film, and i do enjoy watching films like this and Troy and so on!

So far today we’ve got one colour down on the logo, Olstizzle Bambizzle and Princess came to work to see bout borrowing a marquee for Donny Show or something, and 10 Fold has been dancing around singing “Too many broken hearts” by Jason Donovan Just cos it was on Trent FM earlier HAHAHA

For some reason i feel really tired, and having looked at Karls eye (he has conjunctivitis) my eyes are itching for some unknown reason

Roll on 5:30 is all I will say

So yesterday was day 2 of the Screen Printing Dream Team & “10 fold” Maddox’s marathon printing sessions

Was lots of fun, specially being part of the “Mini-Marquees Vertically Challenged Person Union” which entitles it’s members to take cheap shots at Maddsy HAHAHAHA! Think in the process of printing we managed to piss Geoffrey off, but hey ho He’s old and needs to get over it

Last night i nipped to ASDA to get Caz a card and small present, and then dropped it off at Ollie to give to John at footy, along with this letter i got through the post for him, then headed home and got ready for Lee “The Cat” Westwood’s impending visit for the England game! In waiting for the England game we came across this new mission on Ghost Recon that we both like the look of! It’s very challenging, and respawns are a definite!!

The first half of the England game was absolutely shocking, and reminded me of any lower division sunday morning league game on Manor, luckily Stevie Gerrard proved why he should play in the middle, and that Plank Lampard would in fact do a fantastic job warming the substitutes bench, with 2 well taken goals

After the England game i decided to scare myself by playing Condemed! A game for the XBox that Crit lent me I was running round in a dark room, with no lights on in the house, and i was hearing screams, and then saw this youth infront of me with a plank of wood attacking me! So quickly turned that game off

Today the Screen Printing Dream Team & 10 Fold will be back printing, hopefully for the whole morning, and then afternoon, but we’ll have to see

Dear Caz!

Hope you have had a nice day my dear (if you ever read this )

Hope to see you soon mate

Love Wiggy

WOW! What another amazing episode that was of Prison Break! I think i’m gonna be gutted when it’s over! As i’m sure two or three of my mates will be! Altho it was upto its normal high standards last night Part of me wants it to end in a few weeks, because i dont think there is any more they can do to the show, altho another part of me wants it to continue, cos i enjoy watching it! Maybe i’ll have to watch  it all the way through again HAHA

At the moment this morning i am undecided what to do about the England game! Once again this morning they’re saying on Sky Sports News, that they’re gonna drop Owen Hargreaves, because McLaren is too afraid to drop Plank Lampard. even tho after the World Cup Hargreaves was touted as the best England Midfielder, and he’s played prob the most consistent midfielder (when played in his favourite position) out of position on the right …. once again in the words of Macca… IDIOT!!!

More football news….

Glenn Roeder has revealed that Michael Owen is in the final throes of his comeback which could see the Newcastle United striker back in a black-and-white shirt before the end of the season.

While United have had 10 players away on international duty, Owen has been quietly beavering away under the watchful eyes of Roeder and the club’s medical staff at the training ground.

And Roeder revealed today: “Michael is now joining us in our football warm-up for the first time since he was injured last June.

“He is now taking part in 30 minutes of football with us every day”

“But after that, when the intensity of this increases, he goes off to continue his work with our rehab coach John Green who, as he did with Kieron Dyer, has done a fantastic job with Owen.

“I watched as Michael was striking the ball into an empty net yesterday and, believe me, it was great to see.

Now by a week on Monday Michael Owen will be back in full training with us and he will be treated no differently than any other player in our first-team squad.”

Now thats what i’ve been waiting to see ever since he did his knee in the World Cup! And what every Geordie wants to see

Other than watch Prison Break and The Scorpion King, i had a play around on Corel Draw which i’ve just put on my computer at home, so might start one or two projects soon

So yesterday dinner our Lew phoned and said Malc wanted me to look into flights to Barcelona so he can go watch the England game…. but once i told him how much, he decided to watch it at his local

Baring in mind it was monday, and he’d have to fly out tuesday or wednesday morning, and back thursday, the cheapest i could find was £300 from Coventry Airport! Cheapest from East Midlands was……. £1200!! Seems you have to be on England Players wages to afford that flight HAHAHA

I’ve only just realised that its about a year and a half since i last saw our Malc! Not bad going to say he only lives in Rainworth, so when our lewi phoned me this morning, and Malc was with him, we decided that the 3 of us should go out one night soon for a drink, so i’m kinda looking forward to that! Might go visit some more family whilst i’m in the area! Nip in see my uncle mick, so we can have a proper moan about Glenn Roeders Inability to manage our beloved Toon!

Think our Lewi is about ready to be paid by this bloke from chesterfield think Crit may now be in on the Poker night too! Will have to ask John and Ollie also!:D

On a slight side note here…..

Just heard an interview with John Terry, who said England players are gonna try and win their next game against Andorra for steve McLaren! WTF!! You should want to win every game, because of the pride it gives you when you put on the shirt and that! not being funny or anything, but being selected for the England team is the highest honour in the game, so you should try and win every game for the fans, and for the country! Not win a game against a team with no international credentials, “for the manager” just cos we aint won for 5 games, and hardly looked like even scoring

Moan over HAHAHA

So last night I had a bit of a chat with my random mate turned music producer, Jeff, who says he’s got some more music for me to listen to, once he’s finished touching the tracks up which should be good! The CD he did me last year is still in the car, and still gets played hehehe!

Also had a nice chat with Ally, who’s very busy at work with it being almost the end of the financial year and all that , so other than that and picking my bro up again from Chesterfield i didnt do much else! Other than watching a few more CSI episodes

So this morning has been fun! As we’ve made a start on this big order, thats got loads of prints and things! So for the majority of the morning, and hopefully afternoon i’ve been down with “Gaming Machine” Crit and “Ten-Fold” which is fastly becoming Maddsys newest nickname at work! When Crit has finished a print, mine and Maddsys job is to roll or fold the material so it will fit on the racking! Only problem is Maddsy thinks its a way of practicing his origami So no doubt he’ll make a swan or something out of the material in time! Who knows Its great down in Crits bit, cos you get high on all the fumes from the ink and things! only problem is after 5 minutes it gets to the back of your throat, and for the rest of the day you can taste the fumes and that!

*edit* So this afternoon i’ve been helping Crit and Ten Fold print some valances, as we have 2 taking them off the print bed, whilst crit prints another, and Crit tried to kill me!! Was not happy! Also Maddsy has admitted to keeping a little man in a box under his bed that he uses for sexual favours when Stevie is not in the mood HAHAHA bloody Idiot